You'll have to pardon the pun -- I couldn't resist -- but the beauty of beauty pageants is that they're designed with term limits. While one can win smaller ones on their way toward attempting to win one of bigger, prominent contests, the system automatically forbids any previous winner from competing and/or winning again. Once crowned, the champion has a year to gloat, uh, serve various social needs, but they must give it up 365 days later.
It's too bad movies aren't restricted to the same term limits. In a perfect world, they'd be released, run their course at the box office and then on home video, and then retire, to allow others to do the same and so on. Of course, with the advent of cable and satellite services, not to mention home video libraries, some films -- such as "Miss Congeniality" from 2000 -- just won't go away.
If you don't recall that film -- which is probably a tall order considering it's on TV in one form or another most every week -- it's the one where an FBI field agent, played with gusto by Sandra Bullock, has to go undercover as a beauty pageant contestant to nab some bad guys. Being the ultimate tomboy, she got an early version of those makeovers that are popular nowadays, entered the competition, won over Benjamin Bratt, and saved the day. The fact that she didn't win the competition was beside the point, as the film became a big success.
As you know, that latter element will always beget sequels and thus we have "Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous." While the film thankfully doesn't exactly follow its predecessor in terms of plot -- after all, Miss Bullock is now half a decade older than she was before in trying to pose as a pageant contestant -- it's like a former winner who's made an unwelcome return visit.
Notwithstanding that very issue, but like the rest of the original film, this picture offers a smattering of funny moments amidst an unbelievable script, a dearth of any sort of real creativity, and a number of forced performances. The story -- penned by returning screenwriter and long-time Bullock collaborator Marc Lawrence ("Two Weeks Notice," "Forces of Nature") -- puts some mild twists on the original's material, but it's otherwise just more of the same.
Namely, that's putting Bullock's character into any number of situations where she's forced to do or put up with any number of goofy matters. Bullock ("Two Weeks Notice," "Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood") is a decently gifted comedienne, but the material is once again below her abilities and those of others in the cast. Rather than figure out who's threatened a pageant like the first go around, she must figure out who's kidnapped its winner and emcee, all while reeling from her boyfriend -- that being the conspicuously absent Mr. Bratt -- dumping her over the phone.
Lawrence and new director John Pasquin ("Joe Somebody," "The Santa Clause") thankfully don't just drop another male agent into the mix as her antagonist-turned-suitor. Instead, they insert the bitter field agent character played by Regina King ("Ray," "Daddy Day Care") as yet another person who'd never be allowed in the FBI. Yes, it's all escapist entertainment, but anyone with an attitude like hers -- obviously designed to clash with Bullock's more good-natured one -- would be out on their seat in a moment's notice.
The two butt heads -- figuratively and even once literally among a flurry of comical physical violence -- in a standard movie comedy way where there's no doubt they'll become some sort of friends by the time the end credits and outtakes roll at the end. Unfortunately, and as is the case with the latter that have to be some of the weakest such footage ever to play at the end of a comedy, their interaction isn't terribly funny.
The best moments come courtesy of Diedrich Bader ("Napoleon Dynamite, "TV's "The Drew Carey Show"), a performer I sometimes find a bit too annoying but who works rather well here as the "Queer Eye" type makeover artist for Bullock's character (who's inexplicably resorted to her old snorty laughing and eating with her mouth open ways). While not up to Michael Caine's similar character from the first film, Bader generates enough decent laughs to make him the most enjoyable character on display.
As in most such comedies of this caliber, the villains come in two forms. There are the real ones -- embodied here by Nick Offerman ("Cursed," "Stealing Harvard") and Abraham Benrubi ("Without a Paddle," "Open Range") in terribly underwritten parts -- and those of the obstructionist variety, such as the stern FBI leader embodied by Treat Williams ("Hollywood Ending," "The Devil's Own") and his adulterous lover played by Elisabeth Röhm (TV's "Law & Order").
Enrique Murciano ("Black Hawk Down," "Speed 2: Cruise Control") plays the standard green rookie who's unwillingly taken along for the ride and eventually grows a bit of a backbone, while the likes of William Shatner ("Dodgeball," the "Star Trek" movies), Ernie Hudson ("Miss Congeniality," the "Ghostbusters" films) and Heather Burns ("Two Weeks Notice," "You've Got Mail") reprise their roles from the original.
None get anything particularly decent to do or say -- in terms of comedy -- although Murciano nearly enters that realm in one of those moments where his character is talking to those in his earpiece but others around him mistakenly think he's conversing with them, thus following his commands (such as "Faster!") that he's giving to his eavesdroppers. It's not as funny as other previous such material (the best being on TV's "Taxi" with Reverend Jim reacting the wrong but hilarious way to driving test answer hints given to him by his fellow cabbies), but at least it briefly tries.
I just wish I could say the same about the rest of the film. Although fans of the original may likely disagree, there just isn't enough successful humor -- particularly of any sort of clever or imaginative kind -- to warrant the existence of this sequel. Although there are a few occasional laughs and the film simply doesn't retread the first note for note, all of the ingredients -- plot, thematic and otherwise -- are back again, thus meaning that what novelty the first film had is completely gone here.
After seeing the film, you'll understand why some of the bigger name performers didn't return for the second go-round. They obviously read the script and realized that "Miss Congeniality" had her time in the national spotlight and should have remained retired. We couldn't agree more.
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