Just when you thought it might be safe to travel back to the theaters in the belief that the spectacular, but inane car chases and resulting crashes so commonly found in films from the 1970's and 80's had abated, along comes "Black Dog." While the title might fool you into believing that this is some sort of Old Yeller flick, think again. Instead of cars flying through the air, into other vehicles, or somersaulting down the road, this film has substituted big rigs for that job.
Yes, we're talking about tractor trailer trucks running other trucks and cars off the road, smashing, crashing and blowing up, and flying, spinning and cartwheeling through the air in such a manner that you'd think they were made out of balsa wood and not actually weigh fifty or sixty thousand pounds each. Director Kevin Hooks ("Passenger 57") and screenwriters William Mickelberry & Dan Vining have simply lifted the plot from "Smokey And The Bandit," switched the beer for guns, replaced Jackie Gleason with Meat Loaf and a Camaro for the Trans Am, removed nearly any trace of humor or fun, and wrecked many more vehicles in the process.
Oh yeah, Patrick Swayze ("Dirty Dancing," "Point Break") replaces Burt Reynolds and instead of a wisecracking, good ol' boy, he plays a stoically stiff parolee -- but that probably has something to do with the corrugated cardboard from which his character has been molded. While he's obviously playing the subdued, "everyday" man, the absence of Swayze's normal charisma hurts the film. Sure he looks determined all of the time and fights some of the bad guys, but we never really root for him. Of course that's because Hooks has focused so much energy on crashing those trucks that there was little left with which to motivate Swayze's, or anyone else's performance.
Randy Travis, better known as the popular country singer, but who also appeared in "The Rainmaker" and "Fire Down Below," fares a little better as a wannabe country songwriter and awful singer (Hint: That's the film's idea of humor). Another singer, Meat Loaf, (who appeared in "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" and "Leap of Faith"), fares worse in a horribly wooden role as the villain (typical dialogue: "Damn you. You're finished Crews. Your ass is mine") who likes to quote the Bible and cut out coupons (another attempt at humor).
Charles Dutton and Stephen Tobolowsky are wasted as bickering rival federal agents in a subplot that does nothing for the movie other than offer the standard black guy/white guy "opposites" team with Tobolowsky's character continually trying to psychoanalyze Dutton's (repeatedly annoying and continually failing attempts at humor).
For a film trying to be a thriller, this picture certainly picked the wrong equipment. While tractor trailers provide for more spectacular crashes than do their smaller relative, the car (simply due to the presence of more metal and tires -- particularly after twisting and flying through the air), their lumbering nature doesn't create for very exciting scenes. Another problem is the villain's motivation. Since Red had the weapons and the truck from the beginning, why not just keep the goods from the start instead of letting Jack drive off and then waste a lot of time and energy trying to hijack them?
Well, that's because if they did that the filmmakers wouldn't have a movie and therefore couldn't waste the audience's time and energy. And if you're wondering why the title "Black Dog," and why there's so much emphasis on that canine apparition when nothing ever comes of it, well, we can't tell you because we don't know. I suppose, though, that it sounded better than "Truck Crash" or "Black Day At The Box Office For This Dog." If the notion of seeing lots of trucks getting mangled in spectacular ways sounds enticing to you, go for it. Otherwise, you'd be best to skip this less than thrilling picture that we give just a 2 out of 10.