When will they ever learn? No, we're not talking about people who constantly speed and then complain about the tickets they get. Nor are we referring to people who complain about hangovers when they're the ones responsible for their own condition. No, we're talking about TV stars who, despite the established odds and better wisdom, set out -- like lemmings following each other over a cliff's edge to their demise -- to become movie stars. In some respects, one can't really blame them. While TV performers are celebrities in their own right, there's something special about being a movie star -- a certain aura and glamor associated with appearing on the big screen. And, the big salaries don't hurt either.
Yet, despite the many stars on TV and their massive popularity -- often seen by more than thirty million people per week that would equate to more than $150 million at the box office -- few have successfully migrated to the big screen. While many have tried, most have gone down in flames and returned to the "boob tube."
Take for instance, the cast of TV's popular "Friends." While the show's audience has waned somewhat since its heyday, it's still extremely popular. Nonetheless, the cast members -- notwithstanding Courteney Cox who "lucked out" by landing in the two "Scream" movies -- have all failed miserably on the big screen. David Schwimmer ("Ross"), for instance, flopped in his debut, "The Pallbearer." That's probably an apt description of what he's going to need for his film career after his latest attempt, "Kissing A Fool."
I don't have anything personal against Schwimmer and find him enjoyable in "Friends." It's just that he hasn't done a decent job in picking his film projects. Take this feature for instance -- a better title would have been "Kissing a Sibling." For while the necessary elements for a romantic comedy are in place, it -- like kissing your brother or sister -- just isn't any fun and lacks the usual sparks associated with such activities.
Much of that relates to the cast's chemistry, or lack thereof. Sure, opposites attract, but it's never once believable that Sam would date Max, let alone marry him -- and on such short notice -- especially considering his womanizing past. Also, it's never believable that he would be the heartthrob of Chicago -- or that women would be throwing themselves into his bed and then be devastated that he was now off the market.
Thus, knowing that Max and Sam are exact opposites (they even have to tell us that in the dialogue) and will never stay together, we're left with Jay and Sam as our "dream" couple. By the romantic comedy bylaws, we know that they'll finally get together despite many obstacles that seemingly will prevent that from happening. Even so, the sparks never really fly between them.
Similarly, one never believes the supposed lifelong best friend relationship between Max and Jay. While opposites often attract in love, the same rarely holds true in friendships that usually abort such incongruous relationships. We never know why these two guys would remotely be friends, and even so, Jay would end such a relationship after Max's ridiculous "test" request.
Much of that problem falls on Schwimmer's shoulders and the way his character is written. The guy is a creep, but unlike Jack Nicholson's character in the recent film, "As Good As It Gets," this guy doesn't have any charm to offset his nasty and despicable behavior. While Nicholson's character is worse than Schwimmer's, we never like Max compared to our affection that continually grows for Melvin Udall. Of course, I'm not sure if you're ever supposed to like Max, but that only deflates any interest in his part of the story. It also dispels any belief that he and Sam are the ones who get married (the story is presented as a mystery of sorts about who the married couple is that we see at the beginning).
Jason Lee and Mili Avital are more successful and likeable in their roles. Avital ("Stargate") plays the somewhat stereotypical female romantic interest and delivers an enjoyable, but flat performance -- you won't remember much about her after you've left the theater. It's Lee who really stands out. Somewhat obscured, but still funny in last year's "Chasing Amy," here he gets a larger part and more of a chance to show his stuff. Playing the "everybody's been in his shoes" jilted lover, he immediately -- and by default -- gets our sympathy vote and is the one the audience roots for to finally succeed in romance.
One of the film's bigger problems is that, for a romantic comedy, it's just not that funny. Whenever the biggest and most laughs come from one-liners not associated with the plot elements themselves, you know you're in trouble. While the gist of the plot -- a guy asks his friend to see if his fiancé will cheat on him with that friend -- has some comic potential, none of it is ever realized. There are a few laughs, but they mostly come from moments such as Bonnie Hunt's character commenting that she's going to get her chest waxed, instead of moments originating from the main body of the plot.
What's also surprising is that director Doug Ellin (who helmed the disastrous "Phat Beach") and novice screenwriter James Frey decided to pepper the script with liberal uses of extreme profanity (nearly 50 "f" words). The language does nothing for the film, it limits the potential audience (by getting an R rating) and comes off as a cheap imitation of Kevin Smith's films such as "Chasing Amy." While the latter has much more graphic dialogue, it gets away with it due to the clever and very amusing writing. Here it feels forced and completely out of place -- as if Schwimmer himself was saying, "Hey, I'm not on TV right now and I can cuss up a storm." They could have dropped all of it without hurting the movie at all.
The film will also come off as an odd choice on Schwimmer's part. While we now associate him with romantic comedies from his TV show, the guy he plays here isn't likeable at all. Jim Carrey can survive such failed experimentation ("The Cable Guy"), but Schwimmer isn't established enough to risk alienating his core audience. Granted, he's trying to stretch his acting wings and get out from under his Ross character before he's forever stereotyped as him (attention, Gary Burghoff, Michael Richards, etc...), but this role won't do anything for his career. While fans of the romantic comedy genre will probably find the film tolerable -- it's not horrible by any means, it's just slow and mundane -- they won't give it anything nearing a large audience during its theatrical run. We give "Kissing A Fool" a 4 out of 10.