A lightweight and mildly enjoyable crime caper, "Safe Men" is the sort of film that usually appears or even debuts late at night or in the early afternoon on some pay cable TV channel such as HBO. Succeeding at being entertaining only because of its talented and charming cast -- as well as its overall fluff aura -- this film won't even come close to cracking open the elusive box office safe. If you blink, it will be gone and thus join any number of little seen, mediocre films that annually disappear into the "I kind of remember that movie" void.
The film's biggest fault -- despite its posturing otherwise -- is that it's not that funny or clever. While the basic plot shows some potential, it's never fully executed and the story moves along from start to finish without much going for it. Although a few laughs erupt here and there, the whole notion of two "losers" trying to crack safes to avoid the wrath of the local chapter of the Providence, Rhode Island Jewish mafia is pretty much wasted.
While the whole notion of the location and membership of this segment of the mob is funny on paper, and the characters are the polar opposites of those normally associated with the likes of genre icons, Pacino, De Niro and Brando, the film never quite goes far enough to be funny.
Likewise, a bit about Sam wearing a butt pad (or falsie, as it is) isn't humorous as presumably intended, and a scene where the guys try to crack open a safe while the professional thieves are simultaneously working on it from the other side of the wall lacks any fun sparks or humor. I kept expecting something akin to the jewelry robbing scenes in the "Pink Panther" movies, but such scenes in this film are remarkably flat, except for one unrelated storytelling scene involving a pair of flammable pants.
Fortunately, the film is populated with a talented and fun cast that partially makes up for the plot deficiencies. I've always enjoyed the work of Sam Rockwell "(Lawn Dogs," "Box of Moonlight") -- who is basically unknown to the general public -- and while this is hardly one of his better roles, he gives the character enough hangdog charm to make him likeable.
The usually zany Steve Zahn ("Out of Sight," "That Thing You Do") has put the brakes on that characteristic that's quickly defining him, but still does a decent job. The same holds true for the wonderful and normally flamboyant Harvey Fierstein ("Independence Day") who manages to be decent despite not having been given great material with which to work. Likewise, Michael Lerner ("Godzilla") and Paul Giamatte ("The Truman Show") deliver okay performances, but theirs and many of the others aren't up to par with what one would expect for a film like this.
To his credit, first time writer and director John Hamburg delivers some decent and occasionally funny moments, and generally keeps things moving along at a brisk pace. It's unfortunate, however, that his plot doesn't deliver the expected fun and clever twists and turns that usually accompany a crime caper such as this. Likewise, despite what sound like fun complications in the plot description, such elements are never fully exploited. It's only due to the fun cast that we give this film -- which should have been so much better -- a 3 out of 10.
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