There's an old saying in Hollywood that as a performer, one should never work with animals or children. That's not only because they're occasionally difficult to work with, but they'll often upstage or otherwise make their adult co-stars look bad. Had the originator of that saying known that years later both sets of diminutive performers would be capable of adult conversation, I'm sure they would have strengthened the warning.
Of course, vocal special effects have come a long way since the old peanut butter in the mouth days of Mr. Ed and Lancelot Link, or even the more recent "let's try to try to match it as close as possible" tactics used in the "Look Who's Talking" trilogy. From "Forrest Gump" to the "Babe" pictures, the art of lip manipulation is continually getting better.
Unfortunately, many filmmakers forget the cinematic decree that states that "just because you can, doesn't mean you should," and "Baby Geniuses" is a perfect example of that wisdom. Nothing but a retreading of the formula having babies who talk and think like adults, which was beaten to death in those "Look Who's Talking" films, this picture is a travesty of immense proportions.
Obviously aimed at preschoolers, the film should -- and probably will -- mortify their parents or any other hapless souls who mistakenly wander into a theater showing this picture. To make matters worse, the key ingredient of this film -- the special effect of making the toddlers look like they're actually talking -- is often horrendously executed, but that should come as no surprise considering how the rest of the picture pans out.
While the cute kids and a few meager sight gags are the film's sole and barely redeemable qualities, this is cinematic torture at its best (or worst, depending on how your view of such things). Beyond the familiar and minimally intriguing premise of those talking toddlers who have the vast wisdom of the universe stored in their genes -- at least until the age of two when they "pass over" to become like the rest of us -- the film lacks the necessary charisma (exuded by Travolta, Alley and voice of Bruce Willis in those other talking baby pictures) or an interesting and charming story (such as in "Babe") to get anywhere beyond that set-up.
Instead, it evokes the age-old plot concerning the cartoon-like, villainous buffoon characters who wish to exploit the children's gift. Why this is, we'll never know since most of the toddlers' intelligence seems to be based on the ability to mimic bits of dialogue or behavior from other films.
As such, we're "treated" to babies who dance like Travolta in "Saturday Night Fever," or spout dialogue like Schwarzenegger's "Hasta la vista, baby," Mike Myers doing his groovy Austin Powers character and saying "Oooh, bee-haaaveeee," and of course, that infamous blood curdling scream from "Home Alone."
While we understand that writer/director Bob Clark ("Porky's," "Rhinestone") and co-writer Steven Paul are trying to appease the adults with such material, most everyone -- save the few moviegoers who will laugh at anything simply because they've managed to get out of the house -- will set there in dumfounded horror at the merciless beating their cerebral cortex is taking.
As the villains, Kathleen Turner ("Romancing the Stone," "Body Heat") and Christopher Lloyd (TV's "Taxi," the "Back to the Future" films), beyond not following the afore mentioned Hollywood advice -- or apparently taking the time to read the script before signing their contracts -- have sunken to new lows in what were once burgeoning and respected careers. Delivering horribly overacted performances, the two manage to create neither interesting nor memorable characters.
Their more "normal" counterparts -- Kim Cattrall ("Unforgettable") and Peter MacNicol (TV's "Ally McBeal") don't fair any better -- but at least aren't quite as obnoxious -- while the likes of Dom DeLuise (the "Cannonball Run" films) and Ruby Dee ("A Raisin in the Sun") are inexplicably cast in their bit parts for no apparent reason other than needing a paycheck.
Films aimed specifically at entertaining kids-- such as the wonderful "A Bug's Life" -- are perfectly acceptable, and ones that manage to simultaneously entertain their parents or other adults are appreciatively welcomed. Yet when stinkers like this one come out, it gives such films a bad name and makes people want to avoid them.
Teaming with abominable material throughout -- including, but certainly not limited to, the lousy special effects (including some horrendous set construction), bad acting, and contrived dialogue, the film's only distinction -- before heading to video faster than a diaper needs changing -- will be making most critics "worst of the year" lists. As such, and not surprisingly, we give the odorous "Baby Geniuses" a 0 out of 10.
![[Screen It]](https://www.screenit.com/images/screenit_subscriber_logo.jpg){kind=logo}
![[Around the World in 80 Days]](https://www.screenit.com/images/posters/movies/around_the_world_in_80_days_2022_small.jpg)
![[Family Camp]](https://www.screenit.com/images/posters/movies/family_camp_small.jpg)
![[Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness]](https://www.screenit.com/images/posters/movies/doctor_strange_in_the_multiverse_of_madness_small.jpg)