If you've ever gone over to someone's house, and then ended up having to watch them play a video or computer game for an hour and a half or so without being allowed to participate, then you'll know the bored, uninvolved feeling that will overcome you while watching "Wing Commander."
Based on the popular computer game of the same name, this lackluster and tedious 20th Century Fox release -- which borrows elements from other widely recognized sci-fi and action films and then tries to reformat them into the shape of something resembling a WWII submarine flick -- might score big it's opening weekend (when it's paired with the 2nd trailer for the upcoming "Star Wars" film), but will certainly be a distant retinal blur long before George Lucas' little sci-fi film hits the theaters in two months.
Beyond the obvious similarities to the "Star Wars" and "Star Trek" series, the film is also reminiscent of the militaristic, but far superior "Starship Troopers" (with young cadets fighting an alien life force intent on destroying humans), "Top Gun," and just about any WWII film dealing with naval, and in particular, submarine warfare.
As such, this movie even includes a scene lifted straight from most any such film where the "hunted" sub tries to '"run silent, run deep" (by turning off all of its equipment and trying to hide), while the "hunter" ship (even going so far as to be named a "destroyer") drops the equivalent of depth charges trying to find its prey. While that sounds somewhat interesting in print, as executed on the screen it's about as exciting as watching someone play such a game from across the room.
I'll admit to having never played the original game -- or the many "sequel" installments -- that this film's director, Chris Roberts, also created, but I can only presume that they're a lot more exciting than this boring piece of dreck. One has wonder when filmmakers, who adapt these video/computer games, will realize that such games' interactivity -- the very thing that makes them so popular and fun -- cannot be transferred to the big screen.
Of course, it doesn't help that the characters here are about as real and dimensional as their processor-driven counterparts, and that the lackluster story -- courtesy of screenwriter Kevin Droney -- is filled with all sorts of nonsense and gobbledygook that will fly over viewers' heads as fast as such "exposition" does to players who only want to shoot up the bad guys on their screens.
None of this should come as much of a surprise, though, since most of the prior adaptions of video and computer games -- such as "Super Mario Brothers," "Street Fighter," "Mortal Kombat," etc... -- have been less then generously received by critics and most moviegoers, although the "Kombat" films did make some money. The very first one, "Tron," inspired its video game and not vice-versa for those who remember that early '80's film/game.
Like all of those films, the acting here is as weak as the film's ability to entertain, and often the performances are unintentionally funny. As such, Freddie Prinze Jr. and Matthew Lillard (who also appeared together in "She's All That") are horribly miscast in their fly-boy roles.
If Prinze -- the hot commodity of late -- is lucky, he's Teflon covered and appearing in this mess won't harm his burgeoning career. Meanwhile, the likes of David Warner ("Time After Time") and Jürgen Prochnow (who appeared in that "other" submarine flick, "Das Boot") get in some serious, but unfortunately "camp-less" overacting.
Despite some decent, but not spectacular special effects -- courtesy of Digital Anvil and effects supervisor Chris Brown -- and the fact that the heroes have less than twenty-four hours to save the day, the film is anything but engaging, let alone interesting. Beyond the weak script and mediocre direction partially being to blame for that, a great deal of it also revolves around the enemy being so anonymous.
Although we're supposed to root for the humans and the survival of Earth since -- well, since we're humans and we live on Earth -- any good or even decent movie has equally matched and identifiable opponents. That isn't the case here and the Kilrathi as a people/race/mutant life form are nothing more than bothersome pests that need a good "swatting" (of course some may say the same about the protagonists). To make matters worse, once we catch sight of the villains, they're laughably goofy looking, which certainly doesn't help in creating suspenseful scenes.
Overall, the film and its use of elements from other, far superior pictures, is much like concocting a recipe consisting of filet mignon, egg nog, and peanut butter. While all of those items taste good on their own, putting them together doesn't necessarily mean you'll get the same result. A mess of a movie that's stale, unappetizing and hard to swallow, "Wing Commander" is a vehicle that should never have gotten off the ground. We give the film a 1 out of 10.
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