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(About Our Ads) "EVOLUTION" (2001) (David Duchovny, Orlando Jones) (PG-13) Alcohol/ Drugs Blood/Gore Disrespectful/ Bad Attitude Frightening/ Tense Scenes Guns/ Weapons Mild Moderate Heavy *Heavy Heavy Imitative Behavior Jump Scenes Music (Scary/Tense) Music (Inappropriate) Profanity Moderate Mild Heavy None Moderate Sex/ Nudity Smoking Tense Family Scenes Topics To Talk About Violence Moderate Minor Minor Mild *Moderate QUICK TAKE: Comedy: Two community college professors must deal with their discovery of an asteroid and the life forms on it that quickly reproduce and evolve into various monstrous creatures that could threaten all of mankind. PLOT: Ira Kane (DAVID DUCHOVNY) and Harry Block (ORLANDO JONES) are professors at Arizona's Glen Canyon Community College. When an asteroid crashes into a nearby cavern and nearly hits Wayne Green (SEANN WILLIAM SCOTT), a somewhat dimwitted fireman wannabe, Block, who teaches geology and is the local representative for the U.S. Geological Survey, drags Kane, a biology instructor, out to the site to examine the extraterrestrial rock. After collecting some goo that oozed from the asteroid, the men discover that it's teaming with one-celled organisms whose DNA indicates that they're not from this world. Excited over the possibilities of their discovery, Ira and Harry return to the site with several of their students, including Deke (ETHAN SUPLEE), Danny (MICHAEL RAY BOWER) and Nadine (KATHARINE TOWNE), and discover that the space creatures are evolving at an unheard of rate. Government officials, including General Woodman (TED LEVINE) and his military unit and Allison Reed (JULIANNE MOORE), from the Centers for Disease Control, soon arrive on the scene and take over. Realizing they've been bumped from their find, Ira and Harry try to figure out how to get back in. Once they do and discover that the species are evolving into monstrous creatures that could take over the planet, they, along with Wayne and others, try to figure out how to stop the disastrous spread, just as Governor Lewis (DAN AYKROYD) shows up on the scene wanting a quick remedy to the situation. WILL KIDS WANT TO SEE IT? The commercials and trailers will probably lure in many teens, while those who are fans of anyone in the cast may also want to see it. WHY THE MPAA RATED IT: PG-13 For crude and sexual humor, and for sci-fi action. CAST AS ROLE MODELS: DAVID DUCHOVNY plays a biology professor at a community college who's excited over the discovery of extraterrestrial life, but dismayed over being kicked off the site. In response, he develops somewhat of a belligerent attitude toward the government officials, including mooning a General and using some profanity. ORLANDO JONES plays his wisecracking and occasionally goofy fellow professor (of Geology) who also uses some profanity while dealing with the same situation. JULIANNE MOORE plays a smart, but clumsy C.D.C. official who arrives on the scene, debunks Ira's credentials and uses some profanity. She eventually joins Ira and Harry's effort. SEANN WILLIAM SCOTT plays a dimwitted country club pool manager who's training to be a fireman. He eventually joins Ira and Harry in their investigation of the evolving creatures and uses some profanity. TED LEVINE plays the General in charge of the military operation who orders Ira and Harry off the grounds and away from their discovery. He's also apparently responsible for the theft of their research. ETHAN SUPLEE and MICHAEL RAY BOWER play two somewhat dimwitted brothers who are students in Ira's class. DAN AYKROYD plays the Governor who arrives on the scene, wants the situation fixed and uses some profanity. CAST, CREW, & TECHNICAL INFO HOW OTHERS RATED THIS MOVIE Curious if this title is entertaining, any good, and/or has any artistic merit? Then read OUR TAKE of this film. (Note: The "Our Take" review of this title examines the film's artistic merits and does not take into account any of the possibly objectionable material listed below). OUR WORD TO PARENTS: Here's a brief look at the content found in this sci-fi comedy that's been rated PG-13. Profanity consists of several uses of the "s" word and various other expletives, while many colorful phrases are also used. Some non-graphic, sexually related dialogue is present (that also includes one character simultaneously doing some mock pelvic thrusting and moaning), a few women are seen in revealing attire, and we see a man's bare butt as he moons another person. Other behavior that could be imitated is also present. Sci-fi related violence is present (alien creatures attacking or fighting with humans -- presumably killing some -- and being killed themselves in occasionally gooey, but not graphically realistic fashions). Some of those scenes and others, including various "jump scenes," and the sight of the various monstrous creatures may be unsettling, suspenseful or even frightening to some younger viewers, all depending on their age, level of maturity and tolerance for such material. Various characters have varying degrees of bad attitudes, some crude humor is present (including a character having an alien creature removed from his body via the rectum, and the heroes trying to kill a gargantuan alien blob via that same part of the body, etc.), and a few characters drink and/or smoke. If you're still concerned about the film and its appropriateness for yourself or anyone in your home who may want to see it, we suggest that you take a closer look at our detailed content listings for more specific examples of what occurs in it. ALCOHOL OR DRUG USE People have drinks at a party, including a man who has a Mai Tai and is then later seen opening some champagne on a golf course green. We see various people drinking during an "evacuation party." Two students bring over beer for the professors and Wayne. BLOOD/GORE Harry accidentally steps on an extraterrestrial creature down in the cavern, squashing it (resulting in a green, gooey mess). We see that a large, mosquito-like creature has entered Harry's body and is visibly moving around under the skin on his leg. Harry screams to stop doctors from cutting off his leg, but when they say the bug is headed for his testicles, he yells at them to cut off the leg. The doctors then say that the only way to get it out is via his colon. Thus, they flip him over on the gurney, pull down his shorts (we don't see any nudity) and state that there's no time for a lubricant. He yells out that there's always time for a lubricant and we then see his reaction as they go in rectally (after calling for a "cheek spreader" and Ira tells him not to clinch). They eventually remove the large bug (but we never see anything graphic), he asks for some ice cream (to put on his rear end), and we later see him walking funny, as he states "no more bran for me." One of the large creatures barfs up a gooey sac that then breaks open to reveal a new creature. We see a little bit of blood on a bandage on a person's hand. We see a tiny bit of blood as a primate-like creature is shot and killed. As the team goes underneath a huge alien blob, they find what's presumably its anus and decide that's the point to inject it with a substance that should kill it. While preparing to do so, the creature lets out a huge fart that blows lots of gas all over the team (they react to the smell). Ira eventually goes up inside the anus (causing one person to comment on it looking like they're giving it an enema) and all sorts of yellow slime and goo covers him as he finds himself caught up inside it. A huge alien creature explodes, sending all sorts of goo everywhere. DISRESPECTFUL/BAD ATTITUDE A member of a country club is demeaning to Wayne who works there. A soldier tries to draw his gun to use on Ira, but is restrained by others. General Woodman calls Harry (who's black), "Mr. Black" instead of "Mr. Block" (although we don't know if that's purposeful or not). Woodman also removes Ira and Harry from the investigation (although it was their find) and apparently ordered their offices to be raided and all pertinent information removed/stolen. Ira moons the General. We see a woman in a dressing room who's shoplifting clothes by putting various tops on top of each other on her body. FRIGHTENING SCENES Although everything in the film is played on some comedic level, the sight of the various, monster-like creatures may be unsettling or scary for some younger viewers, but that's depending on the kids' age, level of maturity and tolerance for and/or former exposure to such material. Scenes listed under "Violence" and "Jump Scenes" may also be unsettling or suspenseful for those and/or other viewers. The professors and some of their students suddenly discover all sorts of large flatworms at their feet in a cavern, with one girl having them on her feet and legs. Although it's played for laughs, some viewers might not like a scene where a large, mosquito-like creature gets into Harry's bio-suit and flies around inside it, making him nervous and/or panicked. Moments later, we see that it's entered his body and is moving around under the skin in his leg. An alligator-type creature emerges from a body of water and chases a man, eventually catching and dragging him back down into the water (presumably killing him). Although portrayed in more of an adventurous rather than scary way, a flying creature crashes into a department store, snatches up a woman by its claws, and then flies through the shopping mall at high speeds. Various soldiers prepare for the arrival of an alien primate species on an elevator, but it attacks from a different direction. Ira, Harry and others are down inside a cavern when the alien creatures suddenly start to grow to immense sizes and come after them. They race out through the tunnels as a creature, or mass of creatures, chases after them. GUNS/WEAPONS Handguns/Machine guns: Carried by soldiers, briefly held on Ira and Harry and used to fire at various alien creatures. Handgun: Briefly pulled out of a drawer by a woman to shoot a creature, but it dies before she gets the chance, and used by Wayne in a separate scene to shoot and kill another creature. Shotguns: Used by Ira, Harry and Wayne to shoot and kill a large, flying creature. Tank: Seen arriving on the scene. Napalm: Used in an effort to kill the alien creatures, resulting in several large explosions. IMITATIVE BEHAVIOR Phrases: "This is horsesh*t," "This is bullsh*t," "You've got to be sh*tting me," "Suck," "My ass," "Jackasses," "What the hell /was that/is that thing/is it doing?" "Punk," "Don't pull this crap," "We're not going to bend over and take this," "We just got screwed," "Big fat monkey turd," "Shut up," "Douche bag," "How the hell did it get in here?" "Great google moogle" (or something like that), "That's like a big loogey," "Just because I'm a schoolteacher doesn't make me a p*ssy," "Bitch," "Crapola," "How the hell are you supposed to deal with this?" "You're such as asshole," "Hell, yeah," "Bastard" and "Not if you screw this up." Wayne drags a life-sized doll into a shack, pours gasoline in that structure, sets it on fire and then rushes in to "save" the doll (all while practicing for his firefighting test). As he grabs his crotch just below the camera shot, Ira tells the General, "I've got some protocol right here for you, Russell, come and get it" (he does this in a mad response to the General's decision to remove him from the investigation). Ira moons the General (after being mad at him). We see a woman in a dressing room who's shoplifting clothes by putting various tops on top of each other on her body. JUMP SCENES A creature suddenly lunges against the side of a glass container as Wayne peers into it. The clawed foot of a large creature suddenly stomps down right in front of Harry. As a woman reaches out to pet what looks like a cute and pudgy extraterrestrial creature, something suddenly pops out of its mouth and grabs the woman's hand. MUSIC (SCARY/TENSE) A heavy amount of ominous, suspenseful and adventurous music plays during the film. MUSIC (INAPPROPRIATE) None. PROFANITY There's an incomplete use of the "f" word (as in "What the fu.."), as well as at least 4 "s" words, 3 slang terms for sex ("humping" and "banging"), 1 slang term using female genitals ("p*ssy"), 15 hells, 14 damns, 8 asses (2 used with "hole") 2 craps, 1 S.O.B., 6 uses of "Oh my God," 4 of "G-damn," and 2 uses each of "My God" and "Oh God" as exclamations. SEX/NUDITY Nadine suggestively sits on a counter or table in front of Harry, somewhat flaunting her sexuality in hopes of getting better grades (she wears a short skirt that shows a great deal of leg, along with a top that shows cleavage). Ira then walks in and sees them, and then jokingly asks Harry if he's ready for lunch, or whether "you've already eaten" (a possible sexual reference). After Ira states that some extraterrestrial worms reproduce via mitosis, Harry asks, "No sex?" Ira replies that there's no time for sex, causing Nadine to state, "Bummer." After Ira and Harry learn that the military tapped into their computers, Harry quickly states that the girls in the photos on his were all over eighteen. We see a great deal of Allison's upper leg and garter belt as she trips and falls, briefly exposing both. Ira moons the General (after being mad at him) and we see his bare butt pressed up against a vehicle's windshield. Among the symptoms listed by Ira about a vaccine he created in the past, he lists erectile dysfunction. Trying to boost Ira's spirits, Harry tells him that Allison wanted to "give you some." Later in the film, she tells him that she would have "rocked your world." After commenting on an extraterrestrial bug's rear end, Harry asks Ira who that reminds him of and Ira guesses Allison. Moments later, Ira states that he appreciates Harry's assumption that there's a sexual being beneath Allison's deep-seated neuroses, but he doesn't think that's so. Harry then replies, "All she needs is a good humping." He then makes some comically exaggerated sexual sounds imitating her saying, "Ira," and simultaneously does some pelvic thrusting (all of which Allison sees on surveillance cameras). Later, Allison repeats some of that to Ira (indicating she heard it), including the bit about the need of a "good humping." A man sings to himself, "That's what you get for making whoopee" as he waits for a woman to meet him on a golf course green at night. Nothing sexual happens between them as a creature attacks and presumably kills him, but Wayne later mentions something about the two "banging." Wayne asks Harry, the girls' volleyball coach, if he's ever seen them in the shower. Harry replies that he has and sometimes showers with them. After Harry badgers his ex-wife about still having his shirts, she starts to take off the one she's wearing in a café (we see a glimpse of her bra and cleavage), but is stopped by her new boyfriend. A miscellaneous man states that a tentacle came out of the ground and tried to grab his "private parts." As the town is being evacuated, a young woman holds a sign reading, "I can't die as a virgin." We also see a bra hanging from a statue but don't see the owner. Allison and Ira run off into a parked vehicle and we see him look around before slinking down out of sight. As this happens, someone comments that he's giving her a bit of the "Kane Madness." SMOKING Harry smokes once, as does a miscellaneous soldier. TENSE FAMILY SCENES We learn that Harry is divorced and that he and his ex-wife still don't get along. TOPICS TO TALK ABOUT The theory that life here started when space debris, carrying some sort of organism(s), crashed into Earth. Whether life exists elsewhere in the universe. The portrayal of Julianne Moore's character as smart, but clumsy. VIOLENCE Most everything that occurs and is shown in the movie is meant to be viewed in a comedic, sci-fi fashion (thus the violence doesn't come off as graphic or realistic). A large asteroid crashes into the desert, sending Wayne's car flying through the air and knocks him to the ground. A fire hose accidentally hits Wayne in the crotch while he's going through his firefighting test (we then see him holding a bag of ice on his clothed crotch). Harry accidentally steps on an extraterrestrial creature down in the cavern, squashing it (and leaving a green, gooey mess). In addition, a great big creature gobbles up a smaller one. Harry briefly tries to strangle a surgeon (after the latter removes a large, mosquito-like bug from his body via his rectum. An alligator-type creature emerges from a body of water and chases a man, eventually catching and dragging him back down into the water (presumably killing him). As a woman reaches out to pet what looks like a cute and pudgy extraterrestrial creature, something suddenly pops out of its mouth and grabs the woman's hand. A flying creature crashes into a department store (breaking the glass and knocking over many things), acts menacing toward a few people, and snatches up a woman by its claws, and then flies through the shopping mall at high speeds. Ira eventually shoots the creature several times with a shotgun (after Harry rescues her). Seeing that it's not quite dead, he Harry and Wayne shoot it again with shotguns. Various primates apparently destroy surveillance cameras as we see the feeds from them going to snow. Various soldiers prepare for the arrival of an alien primate species on an elevator, but one of them attacks from a different direction. It knocks a man to the ground and goes after the Governor. Another man jumps on its back but it throws him aside. Harry tries hitting it, but the creature backhands him. Wayne finally grabs a handgun and shoots the creature several times, killing it. The military uses napalm in an attempt to kill the alien creatures, resulting in huge explosions. A huge alien blob rips up the ground as it emerges from down below, smashing buildings in its way. The military opens fire on it, but doesn't hurt it as it then lands on top of many of them, presumably squashing them to death. A huge alien creature explodes, sending all sorts of goo everywhere. Reviewed June 5, 2001 / Posted June 8, 2001