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(About Our Ads) "EIGHT LEGGED FREAKS" (2002) (David Arquette, Kari Wuhrer) (PG-13) Alcohol/ Drugs Blood/Gore Disrespectful/ Bad Attitude Frightening/ Tense Scenes Guns/ Weapons Minor Heavy Heavy *Heavy Heavy Imitative Behavior Jump Scenes Music (Scary/Tense) Music (Inappropriate) Profanity Mild Moderate Extreme None Heavy Sex/ Nudity Smoking Tense Family Scenes Topics To Talk About Violence Moderate Mild Mild Moderate *Extreme QUICK TAKE: Comedy/Horror: The residents of a small town try to elude and survive the attacks of hordes of giant, mutant spiders. PLOT: In the town of Prosperity, Arizona, Sam Parker (KARI WUHRER) is the local sheriff who's trying to raise her two kids - teen rebel Ashley (SCARLETT JOHANSSON) and her younger brother and spider freak Mike (SCOTT TERRA) - by herself while maintaining the law with Deputy Pete Willis (RICK OVERTON). She isn't happy that Ashley's dating Bret (MATT CZUCHRY), the motorbike riding son of the town's mayor, Wade (LEON RIPPY). The resident of Prosperity - including conspiracy minded radio broadcaster Harlan Griffith (DOUG E. DOUG) -- aren't happy with Wade since the town and its various failed projects - such as the huge indoor shopping mall - have not resulted in what its name suggests. Wade's latest get rich quick schemes aren't going over that well either. The first involves getting everyone to sell their property to a buyer who has plans for their land, but many are against that including Chris McCormick (DAVID ARQUETTE) who's returned to his hometown. He's inherited his late father's now abandoned mining operations and doesn't want to sell. Rather, his intention is to let Sam know how he really feels about her after a ten-year absence. Wade's other plan has more disastrous effects. It seems he's been accepting payment for allowing toxic materials to be stored in those mines. When one of the barrels of that waste accidentally falls from a truck en route, it ends up contaminating a nearby pond. A local exotic spider farmer then unknowingly feeds contaminated crickets to his arachnids, resulting in them suddenly and quickly growing to huge sizes. Once loose, they continue to grow and then threaten the lives of everyone in Prosperity who do what they must to defend themselves and avoid the mutant spiders that eventually overrun their remote town. WILL KIDS WANT TO SEE IT? If they're into campy "monster" films or are fans of anyone in the cast, they just might. WHY THE MPAA RATED IT: PG-13 For sci-fi violence, brief sexuality and language. CAST AS ROLE MODELS: DAVID ARQUETTE plays a former local who returns after a ten-year absence to tell Sam how he really feels about her, but is interrupted by the spider attack. KARI WUHRER plays the local sheriff who's trying to raise her two kids on her own and must then contend with the spider attack. SCOTT TERRA plays her spider-obsessed son who helps in knowing how to deal with the spiders. SCARLETT JOHANSSON plays his teenage sister who's starting to enter a rebellious stage. She makes out with her boyfriend but doesn't lose her virginity and briefly talks smart to her mom. DOUG E. DOUG plays a conspiracy-minded, paranoid radio announcer in the outskirts of the small town who goes on about government conspiracy and alien invasions, etc. He uses some profanity. RICK OVERTON plays the town deputy who tries to survive the attacks. LEON RIPPY plays the town's corrupt mayor who's only looking out for his own interest. MATT CZUCHRY plays his teenage son who tries to pressure Ashley into having sex with him (he doesn't succeed). EILEEN RYAN plays an older woman who smokes several times. CAST, CREW, & TECHNICAL INFO HOW OTHERS RATED THIS MOVIE Curious if this title is entertaining, any good, and/or has any artistic merit? Then read OUR TAKE of this film. (Note: The "Our Take" review of this title examines the film's artistic merits and does not take into account any of the possibly objectionable material listed below). OUR WORD TO PARENTS: Here's a quick summary of the content found in this campy horror film that's been rated PG-13. Profanity consists of 1 possible "f" word, along with other expletives and colorful phrases. Some sexually related dialogue is present, while a teenager tries to persuade his girlfriend to go all of the way with him (she doesn't after some brief making out). Violence consists of many scenes of gigantic mutant spiders attacking and capturing or killing humans (nothing bloody or graphic) as well as humans killing many of them (with resultant green goo/blood). A huge explosion kills more and a teenager zaps her boyfriend in the crotch with a stun gun when he won't stop his sexual advances. Those spider attacks, other related scenes and the basic sight of the gigantic spiders might be unsettling, suspenseful or downright frightening to some viewers (particularly younger ones and those with spider phobias). Meanwhile, some brief tense family moments are present, some people drink or smoke, and various characters have varying degrees of bad attitudes. Should you still be concerned about the film's appropriateness for yourself or anyone else in your home, you may want to look more closely at our detailed listings for more specific information regarding the film's content. ALCOHOL OR DRUG USE Pete has a beer. Realizing his father isn't listening to him, Bret sarcastically informs his dad that he's going to go out and get wasted, attend an orgy and steal a car. Some characters drink in an old Western playing on TV. BLOOD/GORE We see a tiny bit of blood on the leg remains of an attacked ostrich. Harlan goes on a radio tirade about aliens and what's up with them doing anal probes. We see a large urine wet mark in Bret's crotch after Ashley zaps him there with a stun gun. A huge spider crosses the path of a large truck and splats onto the window (with resultant green goo). Green goo comes out when another spider is shot. Spider goo flows down from a hole in a car roof onto Pete's face. More spiders are shot and killed with resultant green goo. Green goo squirts out onto Pete when he uses a chainsaw to cut off various spiders' legs as they try to grab him through a security gate. More green goo comes out of spiders that are shot. We see a partially decomposed human face inside a web-based spider cocoon. DISRESPECTFUL/BAD ATTITUDE Some of Bret's teenage friends make sexual remarks regarding Sam's appearance. Ashley has something of a "bad girl" vibe starting and even tells her mom that she doesn't plan on being like her, getting pregnant at 16, staying there forever and being the trailer trash sheriff (but she does apologize for saying that). We learn that Wade is corrupt and has been storing toxic materials in the mines to make money for himself. He also tries to escape the spider attack by himself without offering aid or safety to anyone else. Ashley makes out with Bret in a parked truck but then tells him to slow down (he says he thought she loved him and she says that she does). She then says that she doesn't want to lose her virginity in the front seat of a truck and Bret enthusiastically asks why she didn't say so since he has a blanket in the back. Bret then states that another couple does it every night and she says fine, why doesn't he join them for a ménage à trois. He then replies that that drives him nuts and adds that he can't help that she brings out the beast in him. FRIGHTENING SCENES Those who have low tolerance levels for anything related to spiders might find some or all of the material as unsettling, creepy or suspenseful - and some of the scenes have one or more of those attributes - but most are played in a campy fashion where the intent is obviously far more for funhouse thrills rather than genuine terror. Scenes listed under "Violence" pretty much play out in the same fashion, but could be unsettling, suspenseful or scary to young viewers or those with low tolerance levels for such material. As Mike talks to a local spider man, we see that various spiders have escaped from their cages and one large one is crawling up his back. After Mike leaves, that one crawls closer to the man's head and then suddenly bites him in the neck and we then see that scores of them have escaped from their cages. A woman blindly puts her hand into a cupboard, unaware that a large spider is in there. Mike slowly goes through a lab that's now covered in webs (where we know the above man was attacked). He then follows some large spider "footprints" into an old and dark mine shaft opening. A worker in a mine puts a large water hose to his mouth when it no longer works. We then see a large lump moving through the hose - unbeknownst to him - toward him. We then see that it's in his mouth that he slowly opens to reveal many rather large spiders inside there that then come out. Huge, monstrous spiders then approach him. Wade goes out to his ostrich farm at night after hearing something there. We then see various ostriches being yanked down by huge trapdoor spiders and then see that he's walking near such traps (and see the point of view of such a spider watching him). A large number of enormous, jumping spiders chase after Bret on foot and then him and others on their motorbikes after jumping on many of them in the desert. After several minutes of that, Bret is the only survivor who then ends up just inside a mine shaft opening that then collapses behind him. A dog is suddenly yanked into a hole in a basement wall. Its owner then climbs into the hole looking for it and we then see her surrounded by huge spiders. We then see that she's been picked up as we see her legs kicking above the ground. A huge spider crawls into Ashley's bedroom window and then corners her against a wall. Chris then comes in and tries to fend it off with a chair, but the spider knocks that aside and begins covering both of them in webbing. Sam eventually comes in and fires several gunshots into it, killing it. A large spider sticks some sort of fang down into a body in a web cocoon and we hear the person inside it screaming in pain. A spider's legs suddenly come up behind and over the back of a person's chair while they're sitting in it, oblivious to the pending danger. A huge spider is on top of Pete's police car, while others are on top of Sam's house. Sam then tries to get everyone from the house into Pete's car and avoid the spiders. A giant tarantula approaches Harlan's trailer while he, Sam and Chris are inside it. It then starts to shake it around, eventually turning it onto its side. Those three then try to get back to a car and avoid the spiders. Harlan and Chris go up onto the roof of a shopping mall where they hope to be able to use a cell phone and avoid the large spiders. They end up climbing up a rooftop tower with the spiders in slow pursuit of them. Huge spiders try to break through metal doors leading into a mall where people are hiding. Those people then try to elude the spiders in the mall and then down in the mining tunnels (where they can't shoot them due to the thick methane gas that might ignite) as the spiders continue to attack and chase them. We see a partially decomposed human face inside a web-based spider cocoon. GUNS/WEAPONS Handguns/Rifles/Crossbows/Chainsaws/Miscellaneous tools: Used by people to defend themselves and wound or kill the giant spiders. Stun gun: Used by Ashley on Bret when he gets a little too amorous with her. We hear guns being fired in an old 1950s monster movie. IMITATIVE BEHAVIOR Phrases: What sounded like "f*cked up," as well as "What kind of bullsh*t is that?" "Jerk," "Shut up, dork," "You better shut the hell up about my father," "Since when did you give a damn?" "What the hell /are you doing (up there)/are you talking about/is this/is going on (around here)?" "Get your furry, cat ass out of there," "Wacko," "Cop a feel," "Dude, you pissed your pants," "Holy moly," "Big ass," "You're damn right," "Saved my ass" and "Blow us all to hell." The film could inspire some kids to go on a spider and insect killing spree. Bret and his friends pull wheelies on their motorbikes on the highway. JUMP SCENES A small spider suddenly jumps against the side of its cage. An ostrich is suddenly yanked out of sight by an unseen spider. A dog is suddenly yanked into a hole in a basement wall. A web-wrapped body suddenly falls and swings down from a ceiling. MUSIC (SCARY/TENSE) An extreme amount of suspenseful and ominous music (some of it played in a playful manner) occurs in the film. MUSIC (INAPPROPRIATE) None. PROFANITY At least 1 possible "f" word, 2 "s" words, 1 slang term for sex ("hook up"), 13 hells, 6 damns, 5 asses, 1 crap, 5 uses of "Oh my God," 2 of "God" and 1 use each of "For Christ's sakes," "God forsaken," "God forbid," "Good Lord," "My God," "Oh God," "Oh Lord" and "Swear to God" as exclamations. SEX/NUDITY Some of Bret's teenage friends make sexual remarks regarding Sam's appearance. They say she must be the sexiest sheriff in the country and then question whether she's wearing g-string underwear and another guesses that it's a thong. Ashley states that she caught her mom starring at Chris's clothed butt while briefly cuffing him following an altercation. Gladys makes some sort of comment about Chris' "face fuzz" making his mouth look like a stripper's "hole" (or what sounded like that). Chris somewhat sheepishly asks Sam if they could go out and then adds "hook up," but then quickly retracts that last comment he let slip. Realizing his father isn't listening to him, Bret sarcastically informs his dad that he's going to go out and get wasted, attend an orgy and steal a car. Ashley makes out with Bret in a parked truck but then tells him to slow down (he says he thought she loved him and she says that she does). She then says that she doesn't want to lose her virginity in the front seat of a truck and Bret enthusiastically asks why she didn't say so since he has a blanket in the back. Bret then states that another couple does it every night and she says fine, why doesn't he join them for a ménage à trois. He then replies that that drives him nuts and adds that he can't help that she brings out the beast in him. When he won't stop, she then zaps him in the crotch with a stun gun (he says he was just trying to "cop a feel"). We see Ashley with just a bath towel around her body. We see a male mannequin in a department store that falls with its head landing in the crotch of a female mannequin. SMOKING An older woman, Gladys, smokes several times. TENSE FAMILY SCENES We hear that Chris' father is dead. We hear that Sam's husband cheated on her in the past and apparently is no longer in the picture, leaving her to raise Ashley and Mike by herself. We hear that Pete's wife left him. Wade obviously doesn't pay much attention to his teenage son. TOPICS TO TALK ABOUT Spiders and people's fear of them. Mike accepts a ride from Chris who's a complete stranger to him at the time. Guys who try to pressure and/or persuade girls to have sex with them. VIOLENCE Most of the following scenes are played in a campy fashion where the intent is obviously far more for funhouse thrills rather than genuine terror or graphic violence. A large spider bites a man in the neck, causing him to stumble through his lab and crash through and/or overturn various cages and terrariums. We then see one jump on the man's parrot and knock it out of the camera's view. We later see that man's body completed covered in webs and then suddenly yanked out of the camera's view. Chris suddenly punches Wade in the face. A man's cat goes after something it spotted in a hole in the wall. We then hear sounds of violence between it and a large spider and see imprints of both creatures as one and then the other are slammed against the drywall. Both apparently then hit an electric line and are electrocuted (all behind the wall, so we hear, but don't see that occur). We see a man yanked off camera by a large spider. We see several ostriches (on an ostrich farm) being yanked down out of the camera view by large spiders (we only see the yanking and not the actual attacks, but do see the slightly bloody remains of one). After Bret won't stop his sexual advances toward her, Ashley zaps him in the crotch with a stun gun, sending him falling from a parked truck to the ground below them. A large number of enormous, jumping spiders chase after Bret on foot and then him and others on their motorbikes after jumping on many of them in the desert. During the chase, more spiders jump on and/or knock over more riders, but while we see the spiders on top of them, we don't know if they kill or just capture them (some are doing the latter since we hear that the spiders are putting various people in cocoons - although in the end, only one person is rescued from the cocoons). During this, Bret kicks one away from him while jumping through the air on his bike. A huge spider crosses the path of a large truck and splats onto the window (with resultant green goo). More spiders then jump on this truck, eventually causing it to crash. It takes out a nearby telephone pole and then explodes, killing some of the spiders (we don't know about the driver). A dog is suddenly yanked into a hole in a basement wall. Its owner then climbs into the hole looking for it and we then see her surrounded by huge spiders. We then see that she's been picked up as we see her legs kicking above the ground. A huge spider slowly crawls into Ashley's bedroom window and then corners her against a wall. Chris then comes in and tries to fend it off with a chair, but the spider knocks that aside and begins covering both of them in webbing. Sam eventually comes in and fires several gunshots into it, killing it. A large spider sticks some sort of fang down into a body in a web cocoon and we hear the person inside it screaming in pain. A barroom brawl breaks out in an old Western playing on TV. Pete fires a shot from his handgun up through the roof of his police car at a spider on top of it, resulting in some spider goo. More spiders are shot and killed with resultant green goo. A giant tarantula approaches Harlan's trailer while he, Sam and Chris are inside it. It then starts to shake it around, eventually turning it onto its side. During this, Pete fires various shots into it with his handgun, but they seem to have no effect. A van crashes into another vehicle. A spider smashes through a storefront window and jumps on a person. Various trapdoor spiders then grab and yank people down into their lairs. We then see more spiders grabbing and/or jumping on people. During the ensuing general pandemonium, we also see some cars hitting and killing the huge spiders. Sam shoots more spiders dead as she and others try to get into a shopping mall before the large metal security door closes. Harlan shoots several huge spiders dead. A tarantula creates a huge hole in a security door and many spiders pour in. Sam and Pete then shoot and kill many of them. Green goo squirts out onto Pete when he uses a chainsaw to cut off various spiders' legs as they try to grab him through a security gate. Harlan jumps off a roof and lands hard on the ground, but is okay. Chris slides down a vent shaft and hits his head several times. A spider jumps on a man and captures or kills him. More spiders are shot and killed with more green goo coming out. Sam uses a crossbow to shoot and kill an approaching spider. A huge explosion and resultant wall of flame rips through various mine tunnels and kills many mutant spiders. It also blows up a large shopping mall. Reviewed July 15, 2002 / Posted July 17, 2002