"THE HOUSE OF THE DEAD"
(2003) (Jonathan Cherry, Ona Grauer) (R)

Alcohol/ Drugs	Blood/Gore	Disrespectful/ Bad Attitude	Frightening/ Tense Scenes	Guns/ Weapons
Mild	Extreme	Extreme	*Moderate	Extreme
Imitative Behavior	Jump Scenes	Music (Scary/Tense)	Music (Inappropriate)	Profanity
Mild	Mild	Extreme	*None	Extreme
Sex/ Nudity	Smoking	Tense Family Scenes	Topics To Talk About	Violence
Extreme	Mild	None	Mild	Extreme

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QUICK TAKE:

Horror: A small group of college students tries to survive the repeated attacks by zombies on a remote island.

PLOT:

Greg (WILL SANDERSON), his girlfriend Cynthia (SONYA SALOMAA) and their friends Simon (TYRON LEITSO), Alicia (ONA GRAUER) and Karma (ENUKA OKUMA) are hoping to attend the rave party of the year on a remote island off the coast of Seattle. They miss the boat there, however, and end up chartering another boat through seasoned Captain Kirk (JUERGEN PROCHNOW) who agrees to ferry them once the price is right.

Salish (CLINT HOWARD), his first-mate, however, warns that they shouldn't do that as the Isla del Morte literally translates as the Island of Death. The college students don't care and pay Kirk some extra cash to elude Coast Guard official Casper (ELLIE CORNELL) so that they can get to the party on time. He does, but she follows him, suspicious of his actions and possible cargo.

The captain eventually deposits them on the island where he hopes to stash his goods before Casper arrives. The students, however, discover that the party area is deserted, a fact that doesn't sit well with Alicia. Her suspicions are soon realized as some in their group meet a grisly demise at the hands of what appear to be zombies.

They eventually run into the few party survivors, including Rudy (JONATHAN CHERRY), Liberty (KIRA CLAVELL) and Hugh (MICHAEL EKLUND), and fight alongside Kirk and Casper to get to the island's lone house that might provide them some security. As the zombies, led by the immoral Castillo (DAVID PALFFY), continue their deadly attacks on the humans, the survivors do what they can to avoid them and figure out what's happening.

WILL KIDS WANT TO SEE IT?

If they're into horror (specifically zombie) films or any fans of the original video game that this effort is based on, they just might.

WHY THE MPAA RATED IT: R

For pervasive strong violence/gore, language and some nudity.

CAST AS ROLE MODELS:

JONATHAN CHERRY plays a partygoer stuck on an island with a bunch of zombies that he must battle, with the others, to survive.

TYRON LEITSO plays another guy who arrives on the island to party but must fight off the zombies. He uses some profanity.

JUERGEN PROCHNOW plays the seasoned captain who ferries the students to the island and must then do battle with the zombies. He uses some profanity, drinks and smokes cigars.

CLINT HOWARD plays Kirk's right-hand man who's scared of the island and warns the students not to go there.

ONA GRAUER plays the cautious brunette who no longer is any fun (according to the others) and does what she must and can to survive.

ELLIE CORNELL plays a Coast Guard official who trails Kirk only to get caught up in the zombie mess.

WILL SANDERSON plays Simon's friend who's interested in Cynthia and briefly fools around with her.

ENUKA OKUMA plays another of the friends who travels to the island.

KIRA CLAVELL plays another partygoer the main group discovers on the island. She battles the zombies with martial arts moves.

SONYA SALOMAA plays the blond partygoer who prepares to have sex with Greg.

DAVID PALFFY plays the centuries old zombie who wants to maintain his immortality via the parts of the humans he captures.

CAST, CREW, & TECHNICAL INFO

HOW OTHERS RATED THIS MOVIE

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OUR TAKE: 0 out of 10

The full review is coming soon, but trust us, this is arguable the worst film of the year.

OUR WORD TO PARENTS:

The following is a quick look at the content found in this R-rated horror film. Profanity consists of at least 26 "f" words, while other expletives and colorful phrases are used. Some sexually related dialogue is present, some couples kiss, fool around and prepare to have sex (which doesn't occur) and some nudity (various bare breasts, one mostly bare butt in some thong underwear) is seen.

Violence consists of bloody, gory and/or partially decomposed zombies attacking various people who fight back with various weapons, wounding, dismembering and/or killing the zombies. All of that has bloody and gory results, and those scenes and others may be disturbing, suspenseful or scary to some viewers, but that mostly applies to very young ones or those with low tolerance levels for zombie related mayhem. Others, however, will find little if any of the material scary or even suspenseful.

Some bad attitudes are present, several characters drink and one smokes cigars several times. Should you still be concerned about the film's appropriateness for yourself or anyone else in your home, you may want to look more closely at our detailed listings for more specific information regarding the film's content.

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ALCOHOL OR DRUG USE

Kirk says he imagines the Coast Guard is looking for guns or drugs.

A couple carries bottles of beer down to the beach.

One of the guys tells his seasick friend that he should have a beer (that prompts him to get sick again).

Greg and Simon have beer from a tap at a deserted party.

Kirk drinks from a flask.

After being wounded, Kirk says he wouldn't mind a drink, but no one has anything alcoholic for him.

BLOOD/GORE

One of the guys gets seasick on Kirk's boat and we see him finishing vomiting over the side. The other guy then says that the sick guy should have a beer that prompts him to vomit again, this time projectile style onto one of the women.

We see blood coming from a guy's mouth and then a zombie's hand from his chest (with bloody results).

As the group crosses a bubbling body of water, one of them comments that it smells like someone farted.

Alicia picks up a piece of clothing that appears to have blood stains on it.

We see blood on a zombie's hand.

Various zombies have bloody faces.

A young man is rescued from an overturned portable toilet and has fecal stains/matter on his face and clothing.

A zombie, with blood all over her, attacks one guy and apparently breaks his neck. Casper then shoots her several times (with an automatic weapon and handguns), killing her (with additional bloody results).

One of the guys falls and has a large nail from the bridge impale part of his body (with some bloody results).

A zombie is blown apart by gunfire (with gory results), one bites into Kirk and he shoots it point blank in the head (with bloody results).

A zombie does some projectile vomiting of an acidic substance that eats through part of a guy's face, leaving a gory wound.

The survivors open fire on the many zombies, killing and blasting them apart (with bloody and gory results). We see one zombie crawling on the ground with no legs and only one arm.

Casper shoots her former partner, now a zombie, with bloody results. She also has a great deal of zombie blood on her face.

Zombies hack and/or tear off a woman's legs (with blood on her and a pool on the floor around her).

Kirk slices various zombies with a sword, hacking off one's arm with bloody results.

We see a zombie with no legs (bloody).

We see a gory wound on Simon's face.

We see various decomposed bodies and body parts (including a severed head in a jar and another head that has many stitches in the skin) in a lab that also includes a large tank of what looks like bloody water.

Kirk shoots a zombie with bloody results.

Castillo has many crude stitches in his face.

Castillo stabs a woman in her chest (with some bloody results).

A guy decapitates a zombie (we see the severed head), but the headless body continues attacking the guy, strangling him.

Another survivor then stomps down onto the severed head (with gory/bloody results), stopping the attack.

DISRESPECTFUL/BAD ATTITUDE

Kirk disobeys an order by Casper (of the Coast Guard) to stand down and let her board his ship for inspection.

The zombies kill and attempt to kill the partygoers and are apparently controlled by Castillo (who wants to maintain his immortality through live humans and/or their parts).

Some viewers might not like when Castillo (in a flashback to long ago) states that God has done nothing for him or the captain of a boat and then says that God does not exist.

FRIGHTENING SCENES

Scenes listed under "Violence" and "Blood/Gore" as well as those below may be disturbing, suspenseful or scary to some viewers, but that mostly applies to very young ones or those with low tolerance levels for zombie related mayhem. Others, however, will find little if any of the material scary or even suspenseful.

The sight of the various bloody, decomposed and otherwise gross-looking zombies might be scary to some viewers (following the same conditions listed above).

As a young woman swims in a body of water at night, we see the camera point of view from down below her, as well as many bubbles coming up around her. She then panics and heads back to shore.

A young woman enters a dark and creepy house and slowly looks around.

Various scenes feature odd sounds and points of view from the zombies moving around in the woods.

Zombies swim in the water toward Kirk and his boat.

GUNS/WEAPONS

Handguns/Machine guns/Knives/Swords/Grenades/Grenade launchers/Hatchets: Used to attack and kill various zombies. See "Violence" for details.

Kirk drives a large knife down into some wood when saying he doesn't like hearing "Captain Kirk" jokes.

Kirk says he imagines the Coast Guard is looking for guns or drugs.

IMITATIVE BEHAVIOR

Phrases: "We're so f*cked," "F*ck it," "What the f*ck /happened to you?" "I'm so f*cking scared," "You f*cking moron," "It's f*cking genius," "(Game over) F*cker," "Oh sh*t," "You look like sh*t," "You're in deep sh*t," "We don't have sh*t," "Jeez," "Stop talking, start walking," "Hell yeah," "Nuts" (crazy), "Sure as hell," "Oh hell no," "(You) idiot," "Take a piss," "What the hell /is it/were those things?" "Freaking," "Hell of a job," "Shut up," "Die you son of a bitch," "Freak" and "Ain't love a bitch."

Some kids may want to imitate the action and stunts from the film.

A miscellaneous woman has some tattoos.

A woman wears a midriff-revealing top, as does Alicia.

JUMP SCENES

A sudden sound and the sudden sight of a hand on a tree might startle some viewers.

The loud sound of a door closing might startle some viewers.

A hand suddenly comes up through a low bridge and grabs a person.

An aquatic zombie creature of some sort suddenly shows up against the glass of a large tank of what looks like bloody water.

MUSIC (SCARY/TENSE)

An extreme amount of such music plays in the film.

MUSIC (INAPPROPRIATE)

Some songs had lyrics that we couldn't understand, thus offering the possibility of them potentially containing objectionable material.

PROFANITY

At least 26 "f" words, 15 "s" words, 2 slang terms for sex ("humpity-bumpity"), 12 hells, 3 asses (1 used with "hole"), 2 S.O.B.s, 1 damn, 8 uses of "Oh my God," 3 of "Oh God" and 1 use each of "For God's sakes," "God" and "Oh Christ."

SEX/NUDITY

We see a woman dancing in a bikini at a party. We later briefly see a bare-breasted woman at this party.

Kirk says that Casper (a woman) has had a "hard-on" for him since he left the service.

A couple carries bottles of beer down to the beach. They passionately kiss and she then strips down to just her thong underwear (we see her bare breasts and most of her bare butt). She then goes swimming and we see many additional views of those body parts.

Cynthia stands topless before Salish. When he offers her a cross for protection (on the island), she says, "It's okay, I'm on the pill."

We see a guy on top of a woman in the woods (both are clothed and nothing else happens).

Alicia shows cleavage in various scenes.

Cynthia wears a short skirt that shows a lot of thigh while she sits. The others then leave her and Greg alone since they know they want to fool around. Moments later, we see him on top of her between her legs (both are still clothed). He notes that it's starting to rain and suggests that they go somewhere they won't get wet. She then suggestively replies, "Too late." He then makes a comment about doing the "humpity-bumpity" with her. She worries what they'll do if the others come back, he says he'll be quick and she replies, "What's new?" He then gets off her due to the need to urinate and she jokes about guys having erection problems (thinking that's why he's gotten up). While awaiting his return, she playfully says, "Momma's gonna give it to you," but nothing else sexual happens.

One of the girls jokingly tells Simon to play with himself.

We see a young woman flashing her bare breasts on some videotape footage.

Simon and Karma passionately kiss, while Rudy and Alicia do the same in another room.

SMOKING

Kirk smokes cigars several times and we hear that he's been smuggling Cuban cigars.

TENSE FAMILY SCENES

None.

TOPICS TO TALK ABOUT

Zombies.

Rave parties.

VIOLENCE

We see blood coming from a guy's mouth and then a zombie's hand from his chest (with bloody results). We then hear the sound of more violence and a young woman screaming.

We hear the sounds of violence occurring to a man in the woods.

We hear sounds from the outside around a woman in a tent and then see many zombies attacking it (and hear her screams).

The guys tackle and struggle with some other guys in a house (who thought the first were zombies, and one holds a hatchet).

We see footage of zombies attacking partiers, but don't see any direct injuries or deaths (due to the camera work).

A zombie, with blood all over her, attacks one guy and apparently breaks his neck. Casper then shoots her several times (with an automatic weapon and a handgun), killing her (with additional bloody results).

Kirk shoots and kills many zombies as they board his boat.

A hand suddenly comes up through a low bridge and grabs a person by the foot. Karma then kicks the zombie in the face and Casper shoots him. During this, one of the guys falls and has a large nail from the bridge impale part of his body (with some bloody results).

Simon jumps into the water and various zombies come after him there. Casper then fires a machine gun at various zombies, killing them, but one struggles with Simon under the water.

A hatchet is thrown into a zombie, Kirk shoots more (with a machine gun) and Liberty slices one with a knife and then head-butts it.

A zombie is blown apart by gunfire (with gory results), one bites into Kirk and he shoots it point blank in the head (with bloody results).

A zombie does some projectile vomiting of an acidic substance that eats through part of a guy's face, leaving a gory wound.

In a flashback to long ago, a prisoner onboard a ship strangles the captain to death with his chains.

Casper shoots and kills many zombies with machine gun fire as others chase after Greg.

The survivors open fire on the many zombies, killing and blasting them apart (with bloody and gory results). They also hit, kick and otherwise strike more zombies, with some grenades blasting others into the air. We see one zombie crawling on the ground with no legs and only one arm.

Many zombies capture and bite a young woman.

Casper shoots her former partner, now a zombie, with bloody results. She also has a great deal of zombie blood on her face.

Zombies hack and/or tear off a woman's legs (with blood on her and a pool on the floor around her). She dies from those wounds.

Kirk slices various zombies with a sword, hacking off one's arm with bloody results.

We see a zombie with no legs (bloody).

Rudy kicks open a door.

Kirk shoots a zombie with bloody results.

An infected man commits suicide and purposefully takes out many zombies with him via a stick of dynamite (that results in a large explosion).

Survivors throw things at some reanimated zombies.

Another guy commits suicide and purposefully takes out many zombies with him by shooting a large keg of gunpowder that causes a massive explosion.

Survivors shoot more zombies in a tunnel where other, moss-covered ones suddenly come out of the walls and attack them, killing one.

We see a flashback to a hanging long ago that doesn't kill Castillo.

Two survivors fight various zombies, hitting, slicing and using a grenade against them. They then battle Castillo in a sword and hatchet fight. More kicking and hitting ensues, with the guy knocked through the air where he lands on the ground unconscious.

Castillo stabs a woman in her chest (with some bloody results).

A guy decapitates a zombie (we see the severed head), but the headless body continues attacking the guy, strangling him.

Another survivor then stomps down onto the severed head (with gory/bloody results), stopping the attack.

Reviewed October 10, 2003 / Posted October 11, 2003

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