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(About Our Ads) "AN AMERICAN CAROL" (2008) (Kevin Farley, Kelsey Grammer) (PG-13) Alcohol/ Drugs Blood/Gore Disrespectful/ Bad Attitude Frightening/ Tense Scenes Guns/ Weapons Heavy Moderate *Extreme Minor Extreme Imitative Behavior Jump Scenes Music (Scary/Tense) Music (Inappropriate) Profanity Moderate None Minor Moderate *Heavy Sex/ Nudity Smoking Tense Family Scenes Topics To Talk About Violence Moderate Minor Minor Heavy *Heavy QUICK TAKE: Comedy: An anti-American filmmaker has several eye-opening experiences with spirits that try to change his mind about attempting to abolish the 4th of July holiday. PLOT: At a 4th of July picnic, a Grandpa (LESLIE NIELSEN) decides to tell the kids the tale of an unpatriotic man who learned -- "A Christmas Carol" style -- of the error of his liberal, anti-American ways. The story then begins in Afghanistan where terrorist ringleader Aziz (ROBERT DAVI) realizes it's become more difficult to recruit good suicidal bombers to his cause. Accordingly, he orders Ahmed (SERDAR KALSIN) and Mohammed (GEOFFREY AREND) to come up with a better recruiting film since there's is so dated. Realizing they need someone from Hollywood who goes beyond liberal and instead is truly anti-American, they turn to documentary filmmaker Michael Malone (KEVIN FARLEY) whose latest, leftist propaganda film has flopped at the box office. Wanting to make a real movie but now shunned by his peers, he accepts the Arab men's offer to finance him to the tune of $10 million. He has bigger immediate fish to fry, though, in his desire to abolish the 4th of July holiday, thinking its only purpose is to support America's military regime, all of that despite his nephew, Josh (TRAVIS SCHUDLT), being in the Navy. One night, however, while he's watching his hero in action on the TV, President John F. Kennedy (CHRISS ANGLIN) steps out of the TV and into Malone's bedroom, telling him he's to be visited by a number of spirits who will show him the error of his ways. First up is General George S. Patton (KELSEY GRAMMER), who gets the most time with him, followed by visits from George Washington (JON VOIGHT) and even the Grim Reaper (TRACE ADKINS). As each shows him what life would be like had America not flexed its military might and, more recently, made peace with the terrorists, Michael gets a number of eye-opening experiences that change the way he feels. With Aziz then planning on bombing a 4th of July concert by Trace Adkins (TRACE ADKINS), the filmmaker must decide how to think about America, its military, and his former, ultra-liberal ways. WILL KIDS WANT TO SEE IT? If they're fans of spoof films, those skewering the political left, and/or anyone in the cast, they might. WHY THE MPAA RATED IT: PG-13 For rude and irreverent content, and for language and brief drug material. CAST AS ROLE MODELS: KEVIN FARLEY plays an ultra-liberal, unpatriotic filmmaker who makes anti-American documentaries and wants to abolish the 4th of July holiday. He uses profanity, eats a lot of junk food, drinks some, and has his beliefs and mindset challenged by visions of the past and future. KELSEY GRAMMER plays the ghost of General George S. Patton who spends the most time with Malone, showing him what life in America would be like if the liberal's ways were the law of the land. He often smacks the filmmaker and uses some profanity. ROBERT DAVI plays the lead terrorist who wants to bomb a concert at Madison Square Garden to further his terrorist agenda. SERDAR KALSIN and GEOFFREY AREND play his operatives who set out to hire Malone to make their propaganda film as well as provide an in for them to make a terrorist strike in the U.S. CHRISS ANGLIN plays the ghost of John F. Kennedy who's the first to contact Malone about his misguided way of thinking. JON VOIGHT plays George Washington who similarly tries to show Malone the error of his ways and mindset. TRACE ADKINS plays both himself, a country music performer, as well as the Grim Reaper who shows Malone what Hollywood and Detroit would be like under liberal rule. LESLIE NIELSEN plays the grandpa who tells the story about Malone. CAST, CREW, & TECHNICAL INFO HOW OTHERS RATED THIS MOVIE Curious if this title is entertaining, any good, and/or has any artistic merit? Then read OUR TAKE of this film. (Note: The "Our Take" review of this title examines the film's artistic merits and does not take into account any of the possibly objectionable material listed below). OUR WORD TO PARENTS: The following is a brief summary of the content found in this comedy that's been rated PG-13. Profanity consists of a possible use of the "f" word, while at lest 6 "s" words, other expletives, and colorful phrases are also used. Sexually related dialogue, mistaken innuendo and humor are present, as are varying amounts of cleavage, as well as the comedic sight of man's large and severed bare buttocks. Comedy-based violence includes people being killed by various means (including bombs and guns), characters striking others in various ways, and various instances of slapstick style material. Some of that has bloody results, while some crude humor is also present. Some kids might be enticed to imitate some of the behavior, there's brief drug use, some drug related comments, and people carry drinks, while a cigar is present, but not smoked. Various bad attitudes are present, and some viewers may be offended by the film's view of liberals, while there's a non-humorous and realistic looking presentation of the immediate Ground Zero aftermath following the 9/11 attacks. If you're still concerned about the film and its appropriateness for yourself or anyone else in your home who may be interested in seeing it, we suggest that you take a closer look at our detailed listings for more specific information regarding the film's content. For those prone to visually induced motion sickness, there are varying amounts of camera movement, some handheld, in the film. ALCOHOL OR DRUG USE Malone carries a drink. People have wine at an awards ceremony. Ahmed, Mohammed and Malone carry drinks at a reception. When Ahmed and Mohammed tell Malone they have $10 million to finance his film, he jokes that it must have been a good opium crop this year. A musical number has a line about all of the cops being on drugs, a parent saying (what sounded like) she gave up acid for this (referring to her kid's college experience), and then shows other characters using bongs and such. We see a future view of America surrendering to terrorists leaders who celebrate with champagne. BLOOD/GORE Soldiers shoot a person in a wheelchair (we briefly see blood spurt out from the back of the chair -- seen from a bit of a distance). We hear the sound of mice when Malone opens a pizza box and he then scrapes something off a pizza slice (perhaps mice pellets). We see film clips from Rosie O'Connell's (instead of Rosie O'Donnell) movie about radical Christian terrorists. That includes people being subjected to airport security indignities including the sight of the side of a man's bare butt as he's bent over for a cavity search. We see a man (Leslie Nielsen, but not as Grandpa) apparently attacking someone with a sword on the other side of a door, and then doing so again, walking back in with blood on that blade. Various bloody/decomposed zombies are blasted with shotguns, with some bloody results. We see a future vision of a forensics room where all that's left of Malone following an unseen nuclear strike are his large, severed butt cheeks (no blood). Malone knocks a woman aside while rushing to a porta-potty. We then see him sit down inside, but don't see any related activity as he's joined by ghosts and Bill O'Reilly. DISRESPECTFUL/BAD ATTITUDE Most of the following is played for comedy: While played for comedy, liberals might find some or all of the story as offensive to them, including the film showing them as sympathetic and friendly to terrorists, Hitler, slavery and such, as well as being against the military and its personnel and generally being unpatriotic and anti-American. Malone is an unpatriotic, anti-American U.S. citizen who makes anti-American documentaries, is against the U.S. military, and wants to abolish the 4th of July holiday. Various followers share his views and goals. Some viewers might be offended by stereotypes of Arabs as terrorists. That said, Aziz and his followers are terrorists who want to recruit more suicide bombers and then attempt to blow up Madison Square Garden during a 4th of July concert. An Afghani man says that he believes marriage should be between a man and woman or between a man and a really good looking man (some viewers might not like that). About medical care, Malone makes a comment about not having an arm or leg to stand on, and we then see a person fitting that description. Malone mistakes two lesbians for guys. Some viewers might not like a spoof of an old documentary showing Hitler as a fun loving guy, including the joyous opening of Auschwitz. Malone's latest film is called "Die You American Pig," while he's a written a script called "Fascist America" that he wants to make into a feature film. During this, we also hear the phrase "American sucks a big one." Some viewers might not like a sign being carried by protestors that states the answer to overpopulation is gayness. Thinking he's invisible while traveling with Patton on a ghostly tour into the past, Malone reaches both hands out toward a woman's clothed chest, but she slaps him. This happens again later in the film. The film shows a comedy version of Neville Chamberlain signing a pact with Hitler. Some viewers might not like light comedy bits featuring Hitler, Mussolini and Hirohito playfully singing and swaying in unison. Some viewers might not like a comedy bit where Patton shows Malone that if not for the Civil War, the latter would be a slave owner, complete with stereotypical slaves (in the manner of talk, singing, and a slave child calling Malone "daddy"). During this, a slave nearly completely uses the "n" word. Patton pulls his pistol on Malone when the latter asks if rumors of President Lincoln being gay were true, and then adds that maybe he just had a wide stance (a gay bathroom stall joke). Malone asks Patton if they'll being going back in time, with Patton saying no, because they're already at a university. That's followed by a musical number condemning colleges and the education they provide, as well as extra credit if one is poor, black or gay; that one shouldn't pray; and that college indoctrinates young people into hating their country. Malone playfully mocks being a terrorist, blowing himself up, and then being on fire. We see film clips from Rosie O'Connell's (instead of Rosie O'Donnell) movie about radical Christian terrorists. That includes a man using a cross to hit a pilot and copilot in a plane's cockpit; a nun blowing up a bus; and people being subjected to airport security indignities due to Christian terrorists who they all complain about. She also complains about 9/11 being an inside job. Some viewers might not like the portrayal of ACLU lawyers as zombies that need to be shot and killed. The Grim Reaper shows Malone a future view of Hollywood after it's been taken over by Muslims (some viewers might not like the joke). We see a future view of America surrendering to terrorists leaders who celebrate with champagne. Some viewers might not like a mocking representation of Jimmy Carter. Some viewers might not like Malone mocking country music and those who enjoy that and NASCAR. FRIGHTENING SCENES Scenes listed under "Violence" may be unsettling or suspenseful to younger viewers and/or those with low tolerance levels for such material, but most of it's played for comedy. George Washington points out that dust in an old Church in New York is the remains of victims of 9/11, and opens doors that show the building wreckage as that looked on that date (some viewers might find that unsettling). Malone desperately tries to find Aziz before the latter sets off a bomb at a concert (played lightly). GUNS/WEAPONS Handguns/Shotguns/Machine guns/Bombs/Sword: Carried and/or used to threaten, wound or kill others and/or cause property damage. See "Violence" for details. We see armed terrorists in Afghanistan. We see old footage from WWII showing a Nazi warplane and the collapse of an already bombed out wall. The poster for Malone's latest film shows him holding an automatic weapon over his head, while a later view also shows a strap of bombs across his chest. We briefly see WWII era tanks. Patton pulls his pistol on Malone when the latter asks if rumors of President Lincoln being gay were true. We see Aziz with a huge box cutter blade (that he uses to cut a thread from Malone's clothing). Various soldiers carry guns. Soldiers carry machine guns and we hear the sound of explosions. We see a historical array of American soldiers from over the centuries, all of them carrying their period appropriate weapons. IMITATIVE BEHAVIOR Phrases: "Fat, ignorant, traitorous sack of sh*t," "Scare the sh*t out of me," "Slave sh*t," "Oh sh*t," "No one wants to see America screwed by foreigners, except in porn," "Idiot," "Total dork President," "What the hell /is this?" "America sucks a big one," "A total idiot," "What a douche bag," "Shut up," "That's hey sir, maggot," "Right on, sister," "Weak ass," "You wimpy little bastard," "Nazi son of a bitch," "Piss off," "Total weirdo," "Thanks there, Ali Baba," "Pinhead hall of fame," "Complete morons," "Screw it," "Get me the hell out of here," "Lard ass," "Jerk-wad," "I'm the angel of freaking death, you turd-head," "Big ass celebrity," "Fat ass," "You spineless bastard," "What a wanker," "Uncle asshole," "Pain in the ass" and "Fire his ass." Some of the slapstick style material might be enticing for some kids to imitate, as might the suicide bombing material. Thinking he's invisible while traveling with Patton on a ghostly tour into the past, Malone reaches both hands out toward a woman's clothed chest, but she slaps him. This happens again later in the film. Hitler makes the male masturbation gesture with his hand. A kid later appears to do the same. We see graffiti in a porta-potty. Malone goes to jump into a concert crowd, but there's no one there to catch him, so he lands hard on the floor. JUMP SCENES None. MUSIC (SCARY/TENSE) A little bit of suspenseful music plays in the film. MUSIC (INAPPROPRIATE) A musical number has a line about all of the cops being on drugs, a parent saying (what sounded like) she gave up acid for this (referring to her kid's college experience), and refers to women's breasts as "jugs." PROFANITY At least 1 possible "f" word, 6 "s" words, 3 slang terms for sex ("screwed," "laid" and "did"), 1 for breasts ("jugs"), 12 asses (2 used with "hole"), 5 damns, 5 hells, 2 S.O.B.s, 1 wanker, 5 uses of "Oh my God" and 1 use each of "For God's sake," "God" and "Jesus." SEX/NUDITY We see miscellaneous cleavage. About his proposed drama, Malone's agent tells him that no one wants to see America "screwed" by foreigners, except in porn. That prompts Malone to say he hasn't done porn in years. Paris Hilton wears a low-cut top that shows cleavage. We see miscellaneous cleavage. Thinking he's invisible while traveling with Patton on a ghostly tour into the past, Malone reaches both hands out toward a woman's clothed chest, but she slaps him. This happens again later in the film. Hitler makes the male masturbation gesture with his hand. A kid later appears to do the same. Patton pulls his pistol on Malone when the latter asks if rumors of President Lincoln being gay were true, and then adds that maybe he just had a wide stance (a gay bathroom stall joke). Patton comments on Malone being a liberal filmmaker who can't even get "laid" at Columbia University. A musical number has a line that refers to women's breasts as "jugs" and we then see some busty, cleavage-revealing women who slightly shake their chests. We see a flashback to Malone's former childhood girlfriend kissing a military man. As Malone and Patton then leave, we see a line of military and other personnel standing in line for their turn with that young woman. Malone asks, "She did the astronaut too?" with Patton replying and the entire crew of the space shuttle. We see film clips from Rosie O'Connell's (instead of Rosie O'Donnell) movie about radical Christian terrorists. That includes people being subjected to airport security indignities including having to strip down to be checked (we see shirtless men, at least one woman holding stuff up over her apparently bare chest, and the side of another man's bare butt as he's bent over for a cavity search). A woman shows a lot of cleavage, and then does so again in a later scene. We see a future vision of a forensics room where all that's left of Malone following an unseen nuclear strike are his large, severed butt cheeks (no blood). The technicians there then joke around with them, including holding them up to their own clothed butt, while a woman holds them up to her chest, pretending they're bare breasts (with little tassels on the fake nipples). As Ahmed and Mohammed try to disarm a bomb in a public restroom, various military people come in, hear but don't see them, and mistake what they're saying as homosexual in nature (and attribute that to other branches of the military). They hear one saying he's never done this before, being told to relax and to pull it gently, and then to push harder and "put it in here," followed by that it was amazing and incredible when they're done. SMOKING Patton offers Malone a cigar, and the latter initially declines that until he hears it's Cuban and then takes (but doesn't smoke) it. TENSE FAMILY SCENES Josh is disappointed that his uncle refuses to join him at a 4th of July picnic party. TOPICS TO TALK ABOUT The film's message that war is good and that without it, history would be quite different (such as slavery still existing if not for the Civil War, etc.). The film's view of liberals. Terrorists and suicide bombers. George Washington points out that dust in an old Church in New York is the remains of victims of 9/11, and opens doors that show the building wreckage as that looked on that date. VIOLENCE Most of the following is played for comedy. A reluctant suicidal bomber has a strap of bombs on his chest and rides a bicycle down toward an Afghani voting station, but he hits a rock and flips through the air, landing hard on the top of a car. His bombs don't go off -- that is, until an associate fixes the problem and then both of them are killed in the blast that also destroys the car. In a training video, we see various suicidal bombers blowing themselves up, some as intended, such as in a disco (seen from the outside), some by accident (all just big explosions with no carnage or casualties seen). Malone accidentally knocks down a one-legged man, while some soldiers shoot a person in a wheelchair (we briefly see blood spurt out from the back of the chair -- seen from a bit of a distance). As Cuban refugees try to board his small boat back to America, Malone hits them with various things, including a bullhorn, oar, frying pan and bat. We see old footage from WWII showing a Nazi warplane and the collapse of an already bombed out wall. The press storm past and run over Malone, including stepping on his face while he's down. Ahmed pushes Mohammed's head down into various diner food offerings that are placed in front of him (played as slapstick). JFK slaps Malone. Malone tries to follow JFK back through the TV screen, but instead bounces off that and falls to the floor. Protestors storm by and over Malone, including stepping on his face while he's down. Patton slaps Malone, and then does so again. Thinking he's invisible while traveling with Patton on a ghostly tour into the past, Malone reaches both hands out toward a woman's clothed chest, but she slaps him. This happens again later in the film. Patton pushes Malone out through a closed window, causing it to shatter and Malone to land on the sidewalk several stories below, quite hard (but he's okay). We see film clips from Rosie O'Connell's (instead of Rosie O'Donnell) movie about radical Christian terrorists. That includes a man using a cross to hit a pilot and copilot in a plane's cockpit and a nun blowing up a bus. We see a man (Leslie Nielsen, but not as Grandpa) apparently attacking someone with a sword on the other side of a door, and then doing so again, walking back in with blood on that blade. Patton and others, including soldiers and a judge use shotguns to blast various ACLU lawyers, presented here as stereotypical zombies. Some of that results in blood spurting out, while they already have standard bloody and decayed skin. Malone wants no part of that, but accidentally causes a shotgun handed to him to go off. After blasting away part of the stone Ten Commandments, he accidentally shoots one ACLU zombie, and then purposefully shoots two more dead. Ahmed moves a vertical metal turnstile to hit Mohammed on the head, and then does the same with a horizontal one that repeatedly whacks Mohammed in the face. Malone throws some things that hit some kids in the face. Malone runs face-first into a door and then falls down. Patton slaps Malone. Malone accidentally hits his head on a large bell, that then hits him on the backswing, prompting more such hitting on that and other bells by his head. We see a completely wrecked Detroit, with the sound of machine guns in the distance and talk that the city was nuked (as part of a vision shown to Malone). Malone knocks a woman aside while rushing to a porta-potty. Inside there, Patton, JFK and Bill O'Reilly each slap Malone. Malone's former followers throw fruit, trash and even an anvil at him. Ahmed pushes Mohammed's head hard against a guitar. Ahmed bangs Mohammed against Aziz to knock out the latter before he can set off his bomb. Malone goes to jump into a concert crowd, but there's no one there to catch him, so he lands hard on the floor. At a Navy dock, Malone accidentally backhands a little girl, prompting a chain reaction of kids and adults being hit and/or being yanked off the dock. Reviewed October 3, 2008 / Posted October 3, 2008