Kay Chandler (KRISTIN SCOTT THOMAS) is a New Hampshire congresswoman who's running for reelection. While her husband, Cullen (PETER COYOTE) goes off to New York on business, Kay works with her assistants, Wendy (BONNIE HUNT) and Richard Judd (DYLAN BAKER) and media consultant, Carl Broman (SYDNEY POLLACK) on her campaign.

Dutch and Kay couldn't come from more distant worlds, but when the two learn that their respective spouses died together on a plane bound for Miami, they're suddenly thrust together in a sea of questions, grief and anger. That's because Dutch, whose sleuthing ways are completely ingrained in his persona, discovers that their spouses were having an affair.

As Kay tries to distance herself from this revelation not only to protect her teenage daughter, Jessica (KATE MARA) but also her own reelection campaign, Dutch becomes obsessed with learning every detail and answering every last question about the fair. While the two initially don't get along, their repeated encounters into discovering the truth soon generate some romantic sparks between them.

Of course that "delicacy" -- despite the combination of scrumptious foods -- was more likely to turn stomachs than elicit savory raves. Taking that culinary analogy and applying it the movies, sometimes the best laid efforts of cinematic chefs occasionally give audiences indigestion or simply come off as bland, no matter the combination of delicious, individual ingredients.

Such is the case with this week's release of "Random Hearts." While it certainly won't make anyone sick (unless you make too many trips to the concession counter), this film -- despite the cumulative presence of Harrison Ford, Kristin Scott Thomas and Oscar nominated director Sydney Pollack (among other Oscar nominees, winners and a best selling novel) -- is about as bland as they come.

A slow-moving romantic drama that starts with a decent premise and then goes nowhere -- not fast -- but at a languid and laborious pace, a better title for this cinematic sloth may have been "Random Thoughts." That's because those are the things ("What's that sticky stuff on the floor?" "Is Harrison Ford really going to do another Indiana Jones film?") that will be running through your head as you sit through this more than two hour film.

While many have questioned why it took so long to bring author Warren Adler's best-selling novel to the big screen, the answer, at least based on this yield, is that it's way too slow and never connects with the audience in any fashion. Of course Ford will draw in the thirty-year-old and above female contingent who would be just as happy to see him read the phone book, but one has to wonder if the talented actor/worldwide star really sat down and thoroughly read and then thought about the script.

Although I'm not familiar with Adler's original work, the story -- as presented here -- is too old-fashioned, unimaginative and emotionally detached to be of much interest to today's average moviegoer. In essence, nothing much happens after the initial discovery of the affair. Sure, Harrison wrinkles his brow while trying to solve the mystery surrounding the affair, but the problem is, there's simply no mystery.

Of course we wouldn't know that since director Pollack ("Out of Africa," "Tootsie"), story adapter Darryl Poniscan ("Murder in the First," "School Ties") and screenwriter Kurt Luedtke ("Out of Africa," "Absence of Malice") try to lure us into thinking that he'll uncover some big revelation or secret, or that a subplot dealing with some bad cops will tie in to the main story in something more than a superficial way.

Unfortunately, neither happens, and while one can understand Ford's character being obsessed with discovering every last detail about his wife's affair with the congresswoman's husband, that doesn't make for a particularly exciting cinematic experience.

Had he managed to dig up something substantial -- perhaps his wife was hired by Chandler's opponent to have that affair -- then our patient wait would have been worthwhile. That's not the case, though, and the film offers absolutely nothing to reward the viewer for sitting through the obsessed investigation that ultimately never reveals anything we don't already know from the early moment when Dutch discovers the affair. From that point on, nothing of any substance follows.

Sure, the two characters meet, initially dislike each other and then end up falling into bed together, but even that's missing the necessary sparks to make it any fun. That's not even to mention it lacking any semblance of credibility for their eventual pairing (their first aggressive turned lusty kiss is the sort of cliché that one thought had long since disappeared with slow-moving films like this).

Possibly realizing this major deficiency, Pollack infuses the proceedings with that highly polished veneer that made one of his other films, "The Firm," so attractive, but not even that sheen can blind or distract audiences from the boring proceedings. In another failed effort, the filmmakers have tried to jazz up the story by adding a subplot dealing with Dutch's investigation of a bad cop and the effect his discoveries of the affair have on his related actions.

Yet that whole part of the film feels incongruous with the rest in overall tone, never ties in with the main story (as many probably guess it must after so much screen time), and concludes with a turn that's extremely unbelievable (it's doubtful a cop, no matter how desperate, would do what this one does, especially when he does it).

What the film does have going for it -- and what makes it at least a bit easier to watch -- is an A-list of performers. Few will argue that Harrison Ford ("Air Force One," "Blade Runner") is a major star, box office attraction and overall fun actor to watch in nearly any film in which he appears. Women swoon over his rugged good looks and "I can take care of any situation" persona, while their significant others imagine being any one of Ford's gruff and macho characters who dispatch the villains and win over the ladies.

His performance in this film is patently Ford. He's determined, broods a lot, and easily makes us believe in his character. Unfortunately, as his character is constructed here, far more interesting things are going on inside his head than outside it.

While that's what makes novels so much fun -- we get to experience those insides -- films, being a visual medium, have a much harder time displaying the same. Thus, we continually get the sense that there's a lot more going on inside Ford's character than we're allowed to see. Thus, what made probably made Dutch's quest so involving in the novel doesn't have enough external connections here to make it interesting for the viewer.

Although we similarly never get inside the head of the character played by Kristin Scott Thomas ("The Horse Whisperer," "The English Patient"), the accomplished actress creates a completely credible persona. Some might find her performance/character a bit cold (which doesn't help the film's overall flat emotional tone), but she correctly plays the character through her believable reactions to the events surrounding her. It's just too bad that the chemistry factor between her and Ford's character isn't more believable.

Supporting performances are good and include Charles S. Dutton ("Cookies Fortune") as Dutch's concerned partner, Sydney Pollack ("Eyes Wide Shut") stepping out from behind the camera to play Kay's media consultant, and Dennis Haysbert ("The Minus Man") as the cop gone bad.

While it's always possible that some viewers will enjoy this romantic drama, I simply found it too languid and emotionally detached. I also disliked the fact that the audience is deceived into thinking something important will develop from the obsessed investigation into the affair, when in turn, nothing ever does.

Although that's part of the trademark of a character-driven story (the plot is secondary and/or leads to the characters changing in some way), we're never allowed to connect with or care about the main characters. Certainly not horrible, but far from good, the film does benefit from the presence of Ford, Thomas and director Pollack's polished touch, but ultimately, and slowly, doesn't amount to much. As such, "Random Hearts" rates as just a 4.5 out of 10.