Like most boys of my end of the baby boom generation, I was a dinosaur fanatic back in the 1960s and '70s, devouring whatever materials I could get my hands on pertaining to those long extinct critters. With no Internet, home video, or nature-based cable TV channels, that meant many hours reading and re-reading the encyclopedia entries and whatever books the school library had.
The real treat, of course, was coming across a movie (sometimes in theaters, but usually on TV) that featured the huge reptiles. While some were nothing but cheap-looking camp (often featuring Doug McClure), others were spectacular whether from a filmmaking perspective (the original "King Kong") and/or simply a special effects standpoint ("The Lost World," "One Million Years B.C.").
The two former films benefited from the visual genius of Willis O'Brien, while the latter involved the tremendous work of his protégé, Ray Harryhausen. Those in search of scientific accuracy probably scoffed at the 1966 film's mixture of humans and dinosaurs in the same time frame. Yet, young boys enamored with dinosaurs were in prehistoric heaven, while older boys (and their dads) likely enjoyed the film's other visual treat, a scantly clad and nubile Rachel Welch.
As it's been decades since I last saw it, I couldn't tell you a thing about the plot (if there really was one), but I certainly remember Ms. Welch as well as all of the fun and exciting special effects. The same will likely hold true for kids who want to see "10,000 B.C.," albeit with different creatures and a replacement in the pretty face and va-va-voom department.
Special effects aside, though, the film isn't that good. In fact, it's often fairly boring when not threatening and sometimes succeeding at being unintentionally goofy. Working from a weak script he co-penned with Harald Kloser, director Roland Emmerich (best known for helming "Independence Day" and "The Day After Tomorrow"), has essentially retooled Mel Gibson's "Apocalypto," albeit in a different time frame and on a decidedly less graphically violent scale.
Rather than have the protagonist be kidnapped by a rival tribe and then have to make his way back to his wife (leading to prolonged chase sequences), the filmmakers here have Raquel's stand-in, a visually striking Camilla Belle (despite the presumed shortage of makeup back then, her face is smooth and gorgeous) abducted by outsiders, thus resulting in our leading Cro-Magnon or Neanderthal hero (I never focused that much on that part of prehistory, in either case he's played by Steven Strait) setting off on the rescue mission.
Along the way, he encounters all sorts of nasty beasties, which is when the work of the huge visual effects team (try to count all of the names in the end credits) kicks in. None of it's groundbreaking as was the case with the original "Kong," any of Harryhausen's pics or "Jurassic Park," but most of it works for what it is, and whatever young kids will be allowed to see this PG-13 rated film (that easily could have been an R due to the violent nature of various prehistoric encounters) will probably be dully impressed and wowed.
The drama, on the other hand, leaves a lot to be desired. Coupled with the "caveman" makeup, costumes and dialogue (sorry, no snarky car insurance spokesmen contributed to the surprisingly grunt-free talk), and the film teeters on being downright silly when the action grinds to a halt (as was the case with its other predecessor, "Quest for Fire").
Constrained by all of that and the weak script, the performers can't really do much with their parts to make us care (beyond the visceral response of not watching fellow humans -- no matter how primitive -- get munched or stomped on by dodo type birds and mammoths respectively). Perhaps that's why the filmmakers brought in legendary actor Omar Sharif to serve as the pic's narrator, imparting character and plot information in a fashion obviously fashioned to induce some gravitas into the proceedings.
Unfortunately, that doesn't work either, leaving this as a leaden and sometimes fairly goofy when not boring, prehistoric "road trip" that wants to be epic in nature, but only occasionally perks up in a few action sequences.
Considering the far too advanced-sounding dialogue that's present (and thus feels incongruous with the setting), and the seemingly far too early introduction of pyramid building (that fills up much of the pic's final act), perhaps the filmmakers should have considered throwing in some dinosaurs for good measure. Or at least recycled footage of Raquel in that fashionable animal skin outfit she memorably sported all those years ago. "10,000 B.C." feels about as long as it title in years, and thus rates as just a 3 out of 10.
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