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"THE RUINS"
(2008) (Jonathan Tucker, Jena Malone) (R)

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QUICK TAKE:
Horror: Five tourists find themselves trapped atop a ruin in the Mexican jungle, unable to go down due to Mayan descendants who won't let them leave, and terrorized by a carnivorous entity living inside the ancient pyramid.
PLOT:
Amy (JENA MALONE) and Stacy (LAURA RAMSEY) are best friends from America who are vacationing in Mexico with their boyfriends, Jeff (JONATHAN TUCKER) and Eric (SHAWN ASHMORE). When they meet German tourist Mathias (JOE ANDERSON) and hear that his brother is exploring ancient Mayan ruins, they and Greek tourist Dimitri (DIMITRI BAVEAS) decide to accompany him to the remote spot.

Dropped off by jeep, they then hike through the jungle until they reach the remote pyramid ruins that are mostly covered in vegetative overgrowth. They're not alone, however, as Mayan descendants suddenly show up, none too happy that outsiders have found the pyramid.

When some of the vacationers step back into the vines covering the base, the locals go crazy, and aim various weapons at them, eventually killing one. The rest scramble up the steep steps to safety, but then realize that the Mayans are not pursuing or attempting to kill them from down below. Instead, they've simply surrounded the ancient structure and won't let anyone off it.

The survivors soon learn why, but not before Mathias ends up falling down a vertical shaft and seemingly breaks his back. The others manage to rescue him, but then discover that a carnivorous plant entity lives inside the pyramid, luring in unsuspecting humans to their deaths. With no cell phone coverage, little water and the realization that the vine-based intruders are hungry for their next meal and can literally smell blood, the remaining five tourists try to decide upon their best options and next courses of action, all while trapped atop the pyramid.

OUR TAKE: 3 out of 10
Our new reviewing policy for films that aren't shown in advance to critics (or are done so only hours before the film opens) is that we'll only provide a paragraph or two about the film's artistic merits or, more accurately, lack thereof. After all, life is too short to spend any more effort than that on a movie that even the releasing studio knows isn't any good (which is why they hid it from reviewers before its release).

While we still have to wait a bit before the next "Raiders of the Lost Ark" flick, all I could think about while watching "The Ruins"(when not laughing at the grisly gore that goes so far over the top it becomes ridiculous) was that it could have been called "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Stupid People."

While the premise is sort of "fun" (tourists stranded atop a Mayan ruin with a killing machine that's a cross between the critters in "Tremors" and Audrey "Feed me!" II from "Little Shop of Horrors"), the characters are so stupid in their responses and other behavior that copious amounts of eye rolling will likely send viewers to the optometrist for a checkup.

Yes, I realize this is just a haunted house story transplanted into the setting of "Touristas," but c'mon folks, let's show some smarts with such material. While it periodically threatens to become a goofy guilty pleasure, the filmmakers end up leaving that in ruins as well. The film rates as a 3 out of 10.




Reviewed April 3, 2008 / Posted April 4, 2008


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